Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Roses to Charu
Charu scored a hit with her 11 p.m. report on the grumbling roar of motorcycles ruining the neighborhood quietude just off Tunnel Road next to Hooters restaurant there.
Cherub Charu tells us that every Thursday is “bike night” at Hooters, a restaurant location that has been a sore spot with the surrounding neighborhood since it was built. I can’t remember what it was before it was a Hooters, but residents complained a couple of years ago about traffic and people parking on the street and such.
Now it’s the deafening sound of motorcycles, choppers, crotch rockets, racing bikes, Harleys, Gold Wings and whatever other sort of two-wheeled noisy machine under the sun ruining life for neighbors.
Charu’s interviews were punctuacted nicely by the thundering machines. In one interview with a female rider, she was trying to tell us that most every biker is a good person who does the right thing, but then a bike rolls past so loud that she literally has to stop talking. She makes a lame attempt at laughing off the fact that there are some problem children.
The same thing happened as Charu questioned the Hooters manager. He said everybody is cool, but you could hear a bike squealing tires suddenly, and loudly. It made whatever he was saying sound stupid.
Cherub Charu said neighbors have asked police, the restaurant (which moved the event to an earlier time – 7 to 10 p.m. – and everyone else for help.)
Something should be done. The neighborhood has been ruined.
Roses to Charu for sticking up for the little people. Stay on this one.
Rocks to Le
Jon “Punnyman” Le gets rocks for ruining an otherwise lovely report about a couple of Dachshunds that run around with the landscaping crew working to install new turf at a high school stadium.
Le, as he can do, had hit the perfect pitch with his report about how the pups loved being part of the work crew, how father and son navigated the mammoth equipment without getting squashed, and how they even lolled in the shade like real construction workers.
Can’t go wrong with a couple of cute pups, right?
Wrong.
Le’s pun-laden report started to fall under the weight of “dog tired” and a bunch of other mind-numbing puns, then crashed when he told us that there are no losers, “just weiners.”
Argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
More rocks for JenX
Coming off a crash-and-burn of her own this past Sunday, JenX earned more rocks for a predictable story about superstitious baseball players.
It didn’t help that the Tourists ballplayers she interviewed were dumber than cardboard. The dumb jocks were dumb jocks, telling Jen that yeah, they hopped over the first base line and wore the same smelly sweatbands all year.
Cut to the tape of the jock grabbing his nuts and adjusting the family jewels as he hopped the line.
Nice choice, there, Jen.
Another dumbass said he wasn’t superstitious, but he only used one glove in games, and one time the guys stole it and he freaked out and that was after he had stole the lucky sweatband from the other guys (or something like that).
The real kicker came back at the anchor desk, as Jen and Scottie2Hottie joked and chuckled during a little happy talk. Then both looked right at the camera, and Jen – get this – Jen winked at us. She winked. What the f—- was that, Jen??? Your little superstition???
And what happened Sunday? That was perhaps the most uncomfortable dead air we’ve seen in a long time. Jen was doing her sports report, and the report just fell apart. It left Jen hanging, just standing there with the camera on her. She was looking around, and just about walked off the set.
She was still freaked out at the end of the newscast, as she sat bug-eyed, just praying for mercy and an end to the broadcasat.
Jen, we were praying for the end right along with you.
