Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Tased and confused
Michelle Boudin, who surprisingly hasn’t made the Ashvegas blog much, told a wild tale about a redneck who had quite a run-in with the local sheriff’s department Tuesday night. Too bad she missed the story.
Big-un told us that a Buncombe sheriff’s deputy tried to arrest said redneck at the Mickey D’s on Smoky Park Highway at the Enka exit. The deputy said the guy threw some punches, so the deputy Taser-ed his ass. Only the redneck laughed in the deputy’s face (ok, taking a little poetic license here), grabbed the wires, ripped them out and ran like only a scared redneck can run.
The deputy gave chase, and said the redneck started shooting. So another deputy pulled up and shot back, hitting the redneck in the leg. So that made the redneck run even faster, all the way to the Red Roof Inn. (damn those deputies are fat and slow)
Friends drove their bleeding redneck buddy to Haywood Regional Medical Center, where Haywood County deputies, apparently a bit smarter than our guys, arrested him.
Here’s the story Michelle missed: how the hell can a redneck mother-effer get Taser-ed and shot and still get away from sheriff’s deputies? Where did the gun he allegedly fire come from? Exactly how many shots were fired from each side? She just totally takes what the police are saying, no questions asked. Do your job, Big-un. Ask questions. Report.
Robbie Benson sighting
Victoria Dunkelhead did her usual suck-up job as she interviewed D-list celebrity Robbie Benson at noon Wednesday. Robbie is the big star that this weekend’s Ashvegas Film Festival is pulling in. That’s just sad, isn’t it? The dude’s almost 50 years old.
But we loved him when we were kids, right? Remember “Ice Castles”? How about “One on One”? Tom Skerritt and Annette O’Toole, eat your hearts out – we watched for Robbie’s sweet, sleepy mug.
But we digress. Neither Robbie nor Victoria knew what the hell the Asheville Film Festival was about. Both were holding huge cheat sheets. And they didn’t really talk about the festival. Robbie rambled on about his three open-heart surgeries and shit, and Victoria lapped it all up, just honored to be sitting at the feet of such a cinematic superstar.
More WLOSer Halloween costumes
Check out John “Punnyman” Le as “Punhead.” And here’s Jay “Alka” Seltzer as none other than Les Nessman. Not a stretch, really.
Also, Ashvegas is putting the word out now that anyone who e-mails us with photos of the actual WLOS Halloween party (at Michelle’s new Fletcher condo?) will be richly rewarded with an Ashvegas bumpersticker and much love.
Here’s some of my research on tasers, from a Dallas cop. It seems that for the perp to have been tased, but not incapicitated, there must have been some operator error.
“The taser actually works by disrupting the electromagnetic communication between your brain and your muscles. The muscles get really confused and tense up. The taser is also extremely painful — A nerve is by design a survival tool. The most critical sensation to survival is pain and hence the easiest to send. Your nerves, when damaged or confused, will send pain messages to your brain. The taser will not cause permanent damage. The pain of the tase (taze), however you spell it, is not long lasting. Many people’s bodies will quickly forget the pain. Your brain does remember it very vividly. There’s a pretty short learning curve for people who’ve been tased.
So what happens if one probe gets on target and one misses? There are two metal pieces built into each cartridge. If one probe is actually on target, the user of the taser can place the end of the cartridge anywhere on the person’s body to complete the circuit. Say one probe is in the person’s left shoulder, just over his shoulder blade. You want to get the widest possible spread between contact points because that would affect the most muscles. So if possible you can touch the end of the taser to the person’s right toe. It would create a circuit that runs from the shoulder, all through the body and ends at the foot. Very painful. Highly effective. I’ve seen a probe go into a person’s right shoulder and the officer did a drive stun, with the cartidge in place, to the person’s left hip. It had a tremendous effect. The probes will only pierce the very outer skin. These don’t drive into the flesh. The probes will work through clothing. Thick clothing, like a leather jacket, would diminish the effect. Pulling out the probes is very simple. There isn’t a great deal of bleeding. Removing the probes is about akin to getting a shot at a doctor’s office. Two shots actually.
The actual operation of the taser is quite simple. The power switch is a up/down lever that can be operated from either side. The taser is ambidextrous out of the box, without major modification. There is an LED readout on the rear of the taser, where a hammer would be on a pistol. The LED tells you the battery life. It will range from 99 to 00. Anything less than 20 would be a cue to change batteries. The taser has a light and a laser pointer built into the muzzle end (business end) of the taser. You can change the settings to use either the light, the laser or both. Ours are usually set on both. The laser will show you where the top probe will land. The second probe will land somewhere below that depending on your range.
Optimal range is 7-15 feet. Much beyond 15 feet and the probes seperate too far to actually get both on target. The probes are powered by the CO2 canister. This is a one shot weapon. If you miss, you either have to change the cartridge or use a “drive stun.”