Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Election? What election?
WLOS tossed together another weak report about Tuesday’s Ashvegas City Council election by just dropping in on mayoral candidates Terry Bellamy and Joe Dunn and letting that pass for a story.
It’s too bad that the local television station has done absolutely nothing to take a critical look at issues facing the city or where the candidates are on these issues. Instead, what passes for a story about the election is Dunn on the phone calling people and Bellamy fielding questions from school kids. Or a story about a downtown parking deck that isn’t going to be built anytime soon. Or a report from another school forum, where each candidate offers one rehearsed quote and that’s it.
Sad, really.
Subway miracle
WLOS had a report about a truck smashing into a Subway restaurant in a Fairview strip shopping center Monday night. Diva Darcel told us that, “amazingly,” nobody was injured. One salami-slapper apparently pushed a pregnant woman out of harm’s way.
Panther potty sex
Bluntman and the Diva couldn’t pass up a lurid tale, included near the top of the news, about two Carolina Panthers football team cheerleaders who got carried away in a Tampa, Fla., bar bathroom.
The pair – one blonde, one brunette – was reportedly having sex in the potty and that pissed off some other ladies who needed to use the facilities. So when the cheerleaders finally finished, one of the women in line asked ’em what took ’em so long. That’s when the blonde threw a punch. WLOS had tape of the interview with the victim, and she had quite a shiner. I can’t wait to read more about this story.
Gingerbread Le
Jon “Punnyman” Le had a weak report on the gingerbread house competition at the Grove Park Inn. The competition is a big deal, with hundreds of entrants from all over the country.
It was clear that Le didn’t put much time into the report. First off, he was barely dressed. He looked like he just rolled out of bed. Second, he arrived at the GPI early, as people were just setting up their displays. Le’s cameraman captured row upon row of empty table.
Finally, Le never told us who the big winner was. The competition was decided Monday night. The winners will go on to be featured on “Good Morning America” or something. But leave it to WLOS to find a way not to tell us what really happened.
Cabana Boy and the Bonnet
O, yeah. O hell yeah. Thanks for tossing us a bone here, WLOSers. This one’s too easy… but I’m going there anyway.
Mike “Cabana Boy” Cuevas hit the anchor desk with news of yet another school visit or something during the 5:30, then whipped out his surprise of the afternoon. “Another boring sunset photo, Ash?” No, my pretties. Cuervo tells us that he won a “door prize” at school and promised the class he’d show everyone on TV.
From behind the desk, Cuervo slips a pink Gilligan cap, replete with a little bow, and slaps it over his dyed head. Then the cameraman moves in for an extra special close up, which was just brilliant. Nice and close.
Can we just tell you how much we love it when TV people totally whore themselves out like this? In the name of what, we don’t know. But whore away. Act the fool. Bark like a dog, Tammy. Hiss like a cat, Le. Sweat to the oldies, Michelle. Get your eyeballs lasered, Russ. Spread ’em and give us the money shot. Yes, yes YES!
Sorry, we got a little carried away. Mike, you made our day. Thanks.
