Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
My Bele Chere predictions spurred a couple of you to offer your own. Here we go:
Edgy Mama says:
Easy predictions, Ash! Let’s get more specific. I’m predicting the huge thunderstorm for Saturday afternoon.
OK. I can roll with that, not that your prediction was all that edgy, Mama. But I’ll work on mine. (By the way, I love your web site. Would you do me the favor of pimping my blog on your blog? batting eyelashes seductively)
Back to the business at hand – my ultra-specific predictions:
At 10:34 a.m. Saturday morning, well before the big thunderstorm rolls in, a Leicester 11-year-old asks mom for another $5.50 to get his third plate full of funnel cake. Mom slaps him upside the head, then gives him the money out of guilt.
About 2:36 p.m. at the Marine outfit’s humvee and recruitment booth, an Ashevegas lesbian does 12 more pull-ups than the Old Fort redneck who challenges her.
At 10:05 p.m. Saturday night, after Bele Chere organizers decide to open up the Renaissance parking lot to all comers to fill the space because they couldn’t sell all their Blues Traveler tickets, a stampede of wacked out hippies knocks over all the Port-o-Johns, forcing cancellation of the headline act. The hippies, in true Woodstock style, party on in the poopy mess, oblivious.
How’s that, Mama?
And Screwy Hoolie dives in with:
More predictions:
Hot, sweaty, flatlanders drinking overpriced, bad beer get dehydrated.
Someone says, “Are you from here?”
The Anti-Bele Chere marks it’s third year in a row of – astoundingly – not getting raided for drug use.
The misting ‘tent’ provided by some cellphone provider draws thousands.
Of course I’ll pimp for you. And what gorgeous eyelashes they are.