Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Guess y’all know by now that the state Senate voted today in favor of the lottery bill sitting there in Raleigh, a bill already passed by the House.
This is wonderful, heavenly news.
I’m not going to try and break down whether this bill will generate money for education or just be used in a massive politicians’ shell game; I’m not going to fret about whether poor people spend more on tickets than others; and I’m going to ignore warnings about gambling addictions, corruption and the general evil they’ll be preaching about all this on Sunday.
Nope. I’m just going to revel in the fantasy of a lottery. Of walking down to the end of my street and buying a six pack of Bud and $20 in scratch offs, then feeling the rush of adrenaline with each tiny box revealed.
I’m going to imagine what it would feel like to lie naked on a bed tossed with $100,000 in small bills, and to rub them all over my body and the body of the expensive hooker who will be spending the week – no, the month – with me.
I’m going to picture me renting a giant bus and driver, loading it up with alcohol and my drunken friends, and riding around town being obnoxious as hell, rocking the silk slippers and pajamas Hef style.
Paying cash for one of those new badass Mustangs at a Tunnel Road dealership. Renting an entire floor of the Grove Park. Stocking Cubans and Kristol. Writing large enough checks to buy a permanent seat at the Dean Dome, complete with lifetime Rams Club membership and doorside parking. Writing large enough checks to get my own one-on-one time with the president.
Yes, let me dream, people. Send me your comments now, like how the lottery is a tax on the gullible and how the lottery is an idiot’s retirement plan. Send them now, so I can tell you to shove them up your ass when I cash in.
Because tonight, I’m a winner.
There are smarter ways of playing the lottery. I would like to point out a very cool program that I am a member of. Basically, you can get paid to play the lottery which is VERY cool. If you check out http://www.LottoMagik.com“>LottoMagik.com and click on “Income” it explains everything. To be a captain sounds expensive ($50 a month) but with just two team captain referrals you are already getting paid to play the lottery every month. Plus, since you are on a team, you increase your odds of winning. I’m not saying you have to join, or that you even have to give it the time of day. I’m just letting you know that there are options out there for playing the lottery smartly.
Hello My Son,
Glad you don’t have to take those long drives to the state line anymore!
Dream on! It’s harmless and it’s fun to think what WE could do with lots of money.
Love ya and lots of luck, Dad
Dream on, babe. You could so be the next Hef.
Just remember that lotteries are taxes on the math-impaired.