Fairview couple killed, some other news

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Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Grim news
WLOS had a number of stories yesterday that I really didn’t pay attention to: something about Buncombe County deciding on new voting machines; a couple of people arrested for dumping barrels in the Pigeon River in Haywood County; the one millionth useless Civic Center task force meeting; on and on.

But the big story of the day was the fact that a couple living in Fairview was shot and killed while visiting Thailand. The couple said they were members of royal lineage in Laos. Their family was exiled after a communist government took control years ago. So the prince and his wife had been living in Fairview.

Cherub Charu and Sheraldo double-teamed the report. At 6, Sheraldo delivered the grim news, while the accompanying video flipped through slide after slide taken from the couple’s personal web site. The photos showed the husband, the wife, the couple together with their two sons.

Without really coming out and saying it, Sheraldo hinted that the couple was asssassinated. So back at the anchor desk, Diva Darcel asks if the children are in any danger. Sheraldo says they were in danger in Thailand, so yes, they could be in danger here.

Time out. We know you teevee people rehearse these little questions. So, if you teevee people believe that the children could still be in danger, why did you just fill a 2-minute report with their photos for all the world, and all the world’s assassins, to see??!!

Ugh!

Viper’s House of Pain
Jon “Punnyman” Le actually over-dressed for his report Wednesday night about a bunch of fat rednecks who dress in tights and “wrestle.” Think World Wrestling Entertainment meets “Brokeback Mountain.” These old boys in Henderson County were definitely working out some male attraction issues, only they had a ring and some bad nicknames instead of sheep and wide open spaces.

So here’s the deal – the Punnyman says that this weekend, these dumbasses will charge people eight bucks a head for people to come in and watch them put “The Wreckin’ Ball” on one another and fake-bitch-slap each other around the ring.

Le talked to three guys throwing their fat bodies on top of one another – “The Law,”; “Vicious V;” and “Charles Taylor: Not the Congressman.” Larry Old Glory Blunt said he liked Charles Taylor the best. These dudes said the idea came from a soldier buddy of theirs – do something to bring a little piece of Western North Carolina to Iraq. The rednecks said it was an honor for them to act like dumbasses for our boys overseas. Anything for our soldiers.

For once, Le didn’t offer himself up to be pinned or tossed or “suflexed.” Guess the Sinclair health plan doesn’t cover injury due to boneheaded redneck stunts. And Le had a suit on. Can you believe that? The guy actually owns a suit! So he stayed outside the ring.

All this will be going down this weekend at Viper’s House of Pain, which I think is actually a doublewide in Edneyville. Right next to Der Spankenhaus.

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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2 Comments

  1. Edgy Mama January 19, 2006

    Yeah, Ash, I went on the Royals website yesterday and accessed some of the same photos (BTW, there are literally thousands of photos on the site). If they truly were concerned that their actions would lead to their deaths, they never would have set up the website in the first place. If I were the family, I would delete it immediately, however, before the WLOSers and whomever else could get their schedenfreudy little hands on it.

    Will you be photoging at Viper’s House of Pain this weekend?

    Reply
  2. mr. fUschia January 19, 2006

    For some reason, I don’t think the TV did too much harm. After all, they have this website: http://www.sethathirath.com/ which is filled with pictures of them apparantly. Looks like the ol’ WLOS’ers got most of their photos from there. And if I remember right, I saw a few articles on their family in the Citizen Crimes.

    My question is this: What is the US government going to do about this? Did the family become US Citizens while living in Fairview? I mean if so, that would be two US CITIZENS ASSASSINATED overseas. Not so good…

    Reply

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