Charu: My Big Fat Monsoon Wedding

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Charu shoots and scores with Ashvegas by granting us our first celebrity post and by racking up one helluva sweeps interview with Deanna Allen, the booby slinger at Iraq’s Camp Bucca.

First, Charu puts to rest the rumors:

no, i’m not preggers!! it’s hard to stay slim on nightside.. eating late at night, etc also, my hubbie-to-be cooks well! it’s only a few lbs.. but hard to hide when you’re petite! anyway – the website gave us all a good laugh and that was nice w/ the stress of planning an indian wedding!
love & best wishes,

Folks, this is a woman who’s got it together. Secure in her womanhood, she can laugh of a few lbs and take a break from the certain craziness of her nuptial planning. Cherub Charu, a woman of true style, grace and good nature. (Pooty, you’re not such a bad sport yourself.)

Charu’s sari ass is doing fine. Get a few workout pointers from Michelle and keep eatin’ hubby-to-be’s cooking, child.

Now on to the news. Charu took us into the world of Deanna Allen, the disgraced member of our own 105th Military Police unit of the North Carolina National Guard. As you will recall, the NY tabs that broke the story dubbed Bucca “Camp Crazy” for the mud wrestling, breast-flashing party the soldiers held.

The rag’s report came complete with photos, including one of Allen lifting her shirt for all to see.

Under Charu’s gentle prodding, Allen wept. She blamed her sergeants. She blamed her boobies, saying that women get a bum rap in the man’s world that is the U.S. military. Now slinging hash at a Greeneville, Tenn., Sonic burger joint, Allen is trying to move on.

Of course I’m not buying what Allen’s selling. Nobody made her lift her shirt. Other women walked away from the dirty sexcapades. Why couldn’t she? Also, she obviously knew someone was taking a pictue – she’s aiming her janets right at the damn camera. No thought of any consequences?

I guess not.

As Charu so elegantly told us, Allen’s world of promise is a shell of what it once was. She wants to join the Air Force (God only knows why she wants to go back to the military) and she hopes to attend culinary school at AB-Tech. Hang on to those big dreams, Deanna. We’re pullin’ for ya.

Charu, you’re the bomb.

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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  1. Ash May 12, 2005

    For DoneRight: Let me set the record straight -Charu is elegant, but as I’ve said repeatedly, there is no substance to WLOS whatsoever.

  2. Screwy Hoolie May 12, 2005

    1. Nice work w/Charu. I’m hot for her too.

    2. Re: flashing while enlisted in the army – The problem with this behavior, on the ground in Iraq, is that it’s culturally insensitive. The problem with this behavior on the ground in America is that breasts frighten cultural conservatives. Does the military culture encourage such behavior? Does the Pope wear a funny armband? You’ll notice the soldier to our flasher’s left is not looking away in disgust, nor is he seeking a senior officer to report this lascivious behavior to. He’s eyeballin’ those boobies like a dog wantin’ a bone. It’s a shame poor dear flasher wants her mammaries objectified by a pack of G.I.s, but it’s a bigger shame that American culture is so oversexualized that a pair of breasts is enough to rock the foundations of our nation.

  3. DoneRight May 12, 2005

    If you thought Charu’s story was elegant, you need to stop watching Jack-Ass every night!


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