WLOS Thursday dailies 1110

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

1

Windy inferno – maybe
Susan Mun-dane started us off at noon with a lead news story about wind, perhaps another new low for WLOSers. Her video man showed some dried leaves chattering in said wind, and I think that was about it. Oh, wind is bad if a fire starts. O, and wind makes it feel colder than it really is. But that was the story – wind.

Then Sheraldo Barber took the story and ran, like the wind, with it. In Sheraldo’s world, the wind raged into code red days that had every fireman in the county on edge. That, combined with desert-like humidity levels, and we could have a frickin’ inferno, Sheraldo shouted.

The real story was that all the wind actually blew a chunk of gargoyle from atop the Jackson Building downtown. It crashed onto the sidewalk below, but nobody covered that story.

Back on the soapbox
Whichever WLOSer photographer put together today’s “soapbox” report must have read Ashvegas’ post from last week about the early start of the holiday shopping season. Glad you picked up on it – we’ll take credit for giving you the idea.

Anyway, the story was nicely done. Again, people were allowed to express themselves. There were plenty of nice touches, too, including wrapping the soapbox up in some Christmas paper and letting it get a little tattered, and filming the box moving down a mall escalator.

Wal-Mart worries
Sizzlin’ Scottie hit the six with another half-baked report about the Wal-Mart Supercenter proposed for Smoky Park Highway next to the Lowe’s. Turns out there’s a trailer park adjacent to the big chunk of flatland for building. Scottie said the poor folks might get the boot.

So Scottie2Hottie, still not sporting the leather bomber, moved in on his prey and hit up the toothless trailer park rednecks for quotes. He got them good and scared, then ended the report by saying that the trailer park property had not been sold, according to property records. O, and he couldn’t reach the developer or Wal-Mart for comment.

So maybe nobody’s moving, Sizzler?

Jarhead jeered
Cherub Charu capped off the day of big non-news with the coup de grace, a story about a former Marine-turned-protester under fire by a newspaper in St. Louis.

The ex-military man now stands silent protest in Waynesville and talks to anybody who listens about the horrors of war. Charu said he claims to have seen U.S. soldiers committing war atrocities. She had some old video of the protester.

And she had a phone interview with the St. Louis newspaper reporter, who said he was embedded in the local soldier’s unit in Iraq and never saw the horrors the soldier describes.

Might be a compelling story. Only Charu never, ever tells us what atrocities the Marine claims he saw. Hell, she never interviewed the Marine. At the end of her report, she tells us he’s been on a speaking tour and she might get to interview him tomorrow. She also never gives us the essence of the newspaper reports – are they front page stories? Columns? When did the stories run? Why is this a story now?

Nothing. And this is the “top story.”

Washed up starlets
Jon “Punnyman” Le, always playing the lemon pie to the meat and potatoes reporting of Sheraldo, Scottie, Charu and the rest, offered at least one satisfying little bit of fluff by dropping in on the Western North Carolina Film Festival, apparently the red-headed step child to the Asheville Film Festial.
Bond girl now
There, Le found a real Bond girl from, like, 40 years ago. O, and he found one of Spock’s old girlfriends on Star Trek. The Punnyman treated these women with respect. Hey, there were babes back in the day.
hottie
Shirley Eaton was a “Goldfinger” bond girl, sexy as hell all painted up in gold and wearing tiny panties. And Arlene Martel, now a quirky oldster, played a hot Vulcan babe who sexed it up with Spock. Cool. Both babes still look great, I must say. Or maybe I’m just getting old…
Spock girl
The Punnyman also payed homage to the fans who keep these starlets up on a pedastal, decade after decade, like he knew something about holding an obsessive crush on an unobtainable hottie. Punnyman, what you hidin’?
Spock girl now