WLOS dailies WED 1207

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Aftershocks
Cherub Charu zipped out to Yancey County on Wednesday to talk to two little old ladies, sisters, who told us how a 2.8 magnitude earthquake scared the bejesus out of them. Diva Darcel teased the story as “earthquake rocks the mountains,” but the teeny shaker didn’t register much distress. Those two little old ladies were really scared, though.

Winter storm
Mike “Cabana Boy” Cuevas” repeatedly warned us of an impending winter storm, but gave us the proverbial “mixed bag” prognosis, which gives forecasters plenty of leeway if they’re wrong. Cuevas was so concerned about the storm that he called his mother in Kansas City, who gave him some sort of crap update that meant nothing to us here. In the end, Cuevas predicted the storm would hit in the afternoon and the result would be a “dusting to two inches.” Ohhhhh. I’m scared. His report was followed up by Larry “Old Glory” Blunt giving us video and tips on how to drive in the snow – no sudden moves, drive only when absolutely necessary, etc. Thanks for the reminder.

All about the ashes
WLOSers brought us a critical report from forestry officials concerned about the high number of forest fires this year apparently caused by people dumping woodstove ashes in the woods.
So the forest fire officials said this is what we need to do to properly dispose of ashes: remove the ashes with a metal shovel and put them in a metal bucket; add water and make a nasty looking “soup”; let the ashes sit for one month; add two bags of ice; let sit for another month; move bucket to outside refridgeration system that will keep the ashes to a temperature no higher than negative 5; let sit; go outside somewhere and dig a six-foot-deep hole and dump ashes in hole; add more water to make more “soup”; cover with one bag of ice for every ounce of soup; cover with dirt.
Seriously. That’s what you’re supposed to do.

Christmas lights
Jon “Punnyman” Le went back to my favorite holiday Christmas light display in West Ashvegas and explained to me why the display isn’t quite up to snuff. Again, I’m glad that WLOSers are reading the Ashvegas blog and following up on my story ideas. I blogged about the light display, and how disappointed I was that it had been scaled down, this past weekend.
So Le tells us that the 25-year tradition of over-the-top lights took a hit because the homeowner, Martha Rice, didn’t get all the lights out because her sister-in-law, Shirley, is in the hospital battling colon cancer. The woman sure looked poorly, but that didn’t stop Le from sticking a camera in her face and asking her what happened. “I just wasn’t able to get out and help like I used to,” the sweet woman told us weakly from her hospital bed.
Then Le went back to Martha, rubbing the horrible situation in her face by asking her if she had anything to “apologize” for. What kind of asinine question is that? But Martha took the bait, apologizing to the community for not getting her million bulbs strung up.
Look ladies, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. The light display isn’t as brilliant as it has been, but so what? You’re doing what you can for us Christmas-light crazed loonies. Don’t ever bow down to some WLOS punnyman trying to make you feel worse than you already do.

Dancin’ Danny Wilkins
Whitebread Larry Hawley, a WLOS sports reporter, had a good idea on a story, then totally effed it up. He did a story on the intensity of the Asheville High School football coach, Danny Wilkins, who went nuts on the sidelines during last week’s game after one big play. He flailed his arms and lifted his knees. He danced. Larry played us the video of Dancin’ Danny about 20 times.
So Hawley talked to AHS players, who poked fun at their coach by imitating the dance. Then Hawley ran into cameraview doing his own very lame imitation. Then he showed us the video of the coach 20 more times.
Give it a rest, Lar.