whatshouldavlcallme_2013Hello folks. Here’s the first installment of what I hope will be an ongoing collaboration between Ashvegas and the popular whatshouldashevillecallme. Known for their quippy, hilarious takes on all things Asheville, whatshouldashevillecallme was voted the most popular local social media personality in the recent Best Of issue of the Mountain Xpress. Follow wsavlcallme on the twitters.

Without further ado:

Top Ten Reasons Why Asheville is the Perfect Place to Date in the Fall

Ahhh, autumn in Asheville. The air gets a little bit colder, hipster knit sweaters come on, and of course, beards grow a little bit more magical this time of year. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love Asheville in the fall time. This is why I want to take the opportunity, in my new collaboration with Ashvegas.com (has hell frozen over?) to let you know that Asheville is the perfect place to date in the fall time.  Of course, in true nature,  through the magical world of gifs.

10. The layers come on, the layers come off

The weather is changing, it gets  breezy during the day and chilly at night.  Long shirts, sweaters and jackets the norm this time of year. There is also a secret side to layers on dates, when you take them off (I don’t mean later in bed, but during the date) Look at the person when you finally sit down at a restaurant/bar/whatever and they start to take off their coat/sweater/scarf combo, it’s free visual foreplay right there!

 

9. Pumpkins Gone Wild

Is it me, or has the pumpkin trend been seriously spreading like the crazy virus on World War Z in the recent years? Let’s use this to our advantage though. I  think a really cute date would be carving pumpkins while simultaneously drinking pumpkin ale and making a pumpkin themed dinner. The girl will think you are cool for being so creative (let’s face it 98% of the pumpkin trend are girls just in love with fall) and that’s major bonus points for you. Other points for admitting you like pumpkin ale on a date. She is already at your house too drinking and falling in love with your pumpkin expertise, major bonus points there.

8.  Biltmore Estate

Before Biltmore estate goes on crack for the Christmas season, may I suggest going to Biltmore Estate during end of September- October? This is a perfect time to see the leaves, the air is colder for the wine tasting, and you can snuggle up on some 5 dollar hot chocolate in that courtyard.  This can be your fall ‘show off’ date since tickets are expensive, and you all know what happens after the good show off dates, am I right or am I right?

7. Dating someone with kids, do all the child activities you want!

Dating someone with kids is hard, but fall is the perfect time to do all the childlike activities you crave this time of year! Making S’mores! Apple picking! Making a big leaf pile and jumping in it!  Carving pumpkins! All of these activities will make the child really tired too, so you can have those adult activities at night 🙂 Helloooo, Mr. Hand Turkey.

 

6.  Beards Galore

I write a lot about how much I love beards. Some of it is just for fun, but there is a secret upside to the beards during this time of year. If you forget to layer up, you can always suggest to snuggle on the guy’s face (I’m sure he will say yes) Also, needed friction is important this time of year, don’t want to catch a cold!

 

5.  Ups your Sexting Game

Running out of descriptive words for the long sexting matches? Fall is the perfect time to up your sexting game. May I suggest “It’s so cold out now, wish you were here snuggling with me”  “Those elbow patches on your blazer really turn me on” “Would you like some mulled cider before I go to town on you?”  All of these are 100% guaranteed to work, do trust.

4.  Grocery Dates

With the new arrivals of Trader Joe’s and Harris Teeter on Merrimon, this helps you plan out the “Let me cook you dinner” scenario to your advantage. Did you know on the Trader Joe’s website, they list recipes/products you need for you?  This way, you can up your cooking game because the way to someone’s heart is truly through the stomach (That sounded gross, but you understand) You can also plan a date where you buy the products together in both stores, holding hands while you cross the street, who knew Merrimon has become the most romantic Asheville destination?

 

3.   Day Trips

Build your relationship foundation during this time of year with your first awkward teamwork experience by taking a day road trip to one of the mountain towns outside of Asheville.  Use the excuse that you really want to see the fall foliage, whilst planning your sexy time in the Hot Springs Hot Tubs.  Plan a romantic getaway to Pigeon Forge (the 200 billboards of Dolly Parton must turn someone on, right?) and double fist those deep fried turkey legs. Get matching airbrushed t-shirts to wipe your greasy hands on. If that’s not enough to count as birth control, it’s true love.

2. College is back in session

This means all the coeds are getting smarter (hey there, sapiophiles) and have tons of stress to blow off. Ask that cute guy/girl/gender-studies-major what their favorite class is! Ask them what their major is; In this economy, any answer is hilarious! If everything goes well, you’ll be getting force-fed cake and paying off their student loans off in just a few short years. Or you’ll swear never to date an epistemology major ever again.

1. Haunted Attractions

Because going to a haunted house with someone you just met is only slightly less frightening than dying alone.. right? The upside includes lots of potential for helplessly clinging to each other (certainly not a metaphor for later in the relationship) and adorably picking flecks of fake blood off each other’s faces while in the Cook-Out drive through later in the evening. Bonus points if you can swing some “pink lady/bell hop” role play… on HELEN’S BRIDGE.

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4 Comments

  1. 8 of 10 of the items on this list have nothing specifically to do with Asheville.

  2. I love it!

  3. … but where, oh where, do I find someone to date in this town? Sigh.

  4. Great stuff, as usual. Please keep contributing here.

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