These are facts; the Chuck Norris facts

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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These are the facts. The Chuck Norris facts. You pretenders out there are probably clueless. But these are the Chuck Norris Facts.

Learn them. Live by them. For example:

According to the Laws of Physics, it is impossible for Chuck Norris to build more muscle. Upon realizing this, Chuck Norris swiftly roundhouse kicked every law of physics known to man, as well as those known only by Chuck Norris. He now has the ability to will his muscles to any level of strength he desires at any given time.

Chuck Norris himself will not dispute these facts. If you dispute these facts, however, you will pay. He is, after all, Chuck Norris.
More Chuck Norris Facts:

Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting…. CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

Thanks for the heads-up, Bulldog.