Paris, pass the ketchup

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Paris Hilton is a non-entity to me, so when I saw these photos from her new ad campaign, I yawned and moved on. She doesn’t affect me life at all. She has reached the pinnacle of celebrityhood – always on the A-list for doing absolutely nothing.

The TV ad, which you can see here and is coming to a television near you, is also not in the least bit titillating. It’s the old sudsing-myself-and-my-Bently routine, with a little water hose action thrown in for good measure.

That went out of style with the old “fan routine” used in 1920s Vaudeville burlesque shows. (I think the car washing thing was actually invented then, only they were hosing down horses back in the day and had to quick because the equine kept getting aroused.)

Paris is pitching burgers. I say Paris needs more burgers. She’s waaaay too skinny. Feed her fries and shakes and apple pies from fresh from under the heat lamp. She needs to put some meat on them ribs.