Nonsensical news update

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Don’t go chasing waterfalls
“They’re beautiful. They’re majestic. But they can be deadly.”

That’s the way Carolyn “Little Red” Ryan started off her infotainment report Friday night, and we thought, what, a story on Andie MacDowell’s hooters? WTF???

But alas, no. It was the annual story about waterfall safety. You see, every year about the time it gets warm outside and people go on vacation and start hiking on the mountains, people start climbing waterfalls, then falling off and dying.

That’s exactly what happened Thursday at Big Bradley Falls in Polk County. And as Carolyn told us, we should all really be more careful. “Sightsee at your own risk,” is how she put it. And that the was the bottom line of the report. Watch the warning signs, if there are any. Otherwise, don’t be stupid.

Newsflash
There were some thunderstorms Friday afternoon. That’s what Julie Blunder had to say.

Ashvegas Andie makes a plea
Have we mentioned that we love starlet Ashvegas’ own Andie MacDowell. We’re certain we have. From the time we heard her sweet Southern lilt in Sex, Lies and Videotape lo those many years ago, we were hooked. And we’ve hung her every word since. (We love it most when she talks about riding bareback, like she did with Isaac Mizrahi a few months back.)

So Friday, Andie came out of hiding in Bilmore Forest to lend her star power to the Asheville Humane Society’s push to raise money for a new shelter and adoption center. The humane society has $1.9 million, but it needs another half million more to build.

Andie told us that she has three dogs and three cats and that pets are people, too. “Whenever I’ve had problems in my life, I’ve always turned to my pets,” she said. Seriously. She called the current Ashvegas animal shelter “repulsive” and said the new shelter, to be built on Brevard Road, would reduce stress on cats and dogs.

Andie, we will do whatever you tell us to do. You tell us to do it doggie-style? Well, we’re on it.

School’s out, and so is the fire
Michelle Boudin, who seems to have been missing from the local infotainment show lately, brought us a boring report about a fire at T.C. Roberson High School Friday about 1 p.m.

Summer school had just let out and students were gone when the principal heard the fire alarm, spotted the fire and ran to grab a fire extinguisher. The fire started on the “English hall” at the rear of the school building, Boudin said.

Someone called the fire department, too. Nobody was hurt, but the flames did $3,000 to $5,000 damage, and officials are certain the blaze was intentionally set.

Newsflash
Elizabeth Edwards, wife of presidential wannabee *John Edwards, is clear of cancer.

Vets to get out-patient center
Sheraldo was out in Macon County Friday to tell us that a new outpatient center will be built in Franklin to serve veterans. The funding bill that includes the center has passed the U.S. House, but still needs Senate and presidential approval.

All that didn’t stop U.S. Rep. Charles Taylor from showing up in Franklin to make the announcement and take the credit. It also didn’t stop Heath Shuler, Taylor’s political opponent in this year’s elections, from simultaneously criticizing Taylor for not doing enough to help veterans and praising the new center a great way to hnor veterans for their service.

In other news…
The Skyland Arts movie theater is moving from downtown Hendersonville to Flat Rock.

Spotted

Buncombe County Commissioner David Young being interviewed by Jon “Punnyman” Le Friday night on Pack Square. Sources tell us that Young was answering some of Le’s hardhitting questions about the ongoing city-county water agreement dispute.