Liars’ club

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

1

Let me just go on record saying these so-called professional athletes make me sick. From Slate.com:

Athletes don’t take drugs. They ingest them, “unknowingly,” “accidentally,” and “unintentionally.” Jaded fans can rest assured, it’s never their fault.

“I am here to make it very clear that I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. Period. … I am sure you will ask how I tested positive for a banned substance. As I look back, I don’t have a specific answer to give. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to explain to the arbitrator how the banned substance entered my body.”
-Baltimore Orioles first baseman Rafael Palmeiro, Aug. 1, 2005

“When [my trainer Greg Anderson] said it was flaxseed oil, I just said, ‘Whatever.’ … I
had no doubt what he was giving me, because we were friends.”
-San Francisco Giants outfielder Barry Bonds, Dec. 4, 2003, testifying to the BALCO grand jury (via San Francisco Chronicle)

“The truth of the matter is [blood] can get there certainly from a fraternal twin who has a different genetic identity. … So that’s the deal.”
-*Dr. David Housman*, who testified on cyclist Tyler Hamilton’s behalf, on why tests at the Athens Olympics showed Hamilton had someone else’s blood in his body (Los Angeles Times, April 17, 2005)

“I don’t take steroids, period. I bought supplements. … [I] made a mistake trusting the label.”
-Seattle Mariners minor leaguer Damian Moss, who “would not name the supplements or the manufacturer, saying he didn’t want to get any companies in trouble” (Seattle Times, April 5, 2005)

“Of course I can’t be 100% certain that anybody [spiked my drink] but I can’t see any other way. … You can’t lock [drinks] away every time you take a vault, so it’s possible.”
-Pole-vaulter Janine Whitlock, July 19, 2002, after testing positive for steroids at the Commonwealth Games

“For many years, I’ve been taking this blood test and I’ve never had problems. I put it down to female physiology.”
-Cross-country skier Larissa Lazutina, after a test at the 2002 Winter Olympics revealed abnormal levels of hemoglobin (Washington Post, Feb. 25, 2002)

“I know I did nothing incorrect. … I take stuff I buy over the counter. Multivitamins, protein shakes, muscle relaxants. That kind of stuff … I’m surprised because look at what kind
of player I am. I’m a leadoff hitter. I never hit any home runs.”
-Then-Devil Rays outfielder Alex Sanchez, April 4, 2005

“[My coach] had given me this pill and I had taken it. He told me it was not a steroid and that it would just keep you ‘up’ so you wouldn’t be so fatigued.”
-Sprinter Calvin Harrison, after testing positive for the stimulant modafinil (Guardian, Oct. 27, 2003)

“She was bringing them from Lithuania for my mother-in-law.”
-Cyclist Raimondas Rumsas, July 30, 2002, after his wife was found with EPO and testosterone in the trunk of her car