Letter from Pooty

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Ashvegas has received this disturbing letter, a clear and desperate cry for help.

Pooty is Scott “Scottie2Hottie” Wickersham’s beloved orange-haired tabby. Scottie loves Pooty such that he mentioned the feline in his WLOS bio. But it’s been nigh onto six months into Scottie’s new marriage to co-anchor Candice Little, and Ashvegas has been receiving unconfirmed reports for weeks now that the cat definitely feels like a third wheel in the Wickersham household.

The note makes Pooty’s disappearance all too real for the dashing anchor, who was so distraught at reading it that he couldn’t attend his regular Monday pilates class. Candice, on the other hand, was heard to be smirking a goodriddance to “the little hairball.”

With the demands of Candice, a high-maintenance Georgia blonde and pageant winner no less, Scottie has been less and less attentive to poor Pooty. Pals say Scottie has lost the habit of snuggling up with Pooty on the couch, a mug of hot chocolate in one hand, his latest issue of “Men’s Health” in the other and the cat in his lap.

For months now, Scottie has also reportedly forgone Pooty’s favorite Tender Vittles tuna snacks after having spent too much on a new duvet that Candice demanded. Pooty, listless and bedraggled, took to crying at all hours and delivering healthy sprays to the wheels of Candice’s gleaming BMW.

With Pooty’s disappearance, Scottie knows not what to do. Friends say they’re just hoping Pooty will keep lines of communication open with another note.

Full of anticipation and dread, they wait.