Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
It’s still all about the weather with the local TV news station – some things just never change.
Why is it all about the weather? Because WLOS is lazy, and the easiest story in the world to do is a weather story. Stick a camera out the window and – presto – you’ve got video. If you’ve got video, you’ve got a TV “story.” Also, weather is an easy story to hype. Take the WLOS reports from Friday.
The big story was the heat wave. The blistering, broiling temperatures that had people sweating buckets, jumping in pools, running screaming inside to cool AC (or so they wanted you to think.)
All this, reported Holly Headache, because the high temperature reached an astounding (gasp!) 89 degrees. What?!? Yes, 89 degrees was the high.
But Holly Headache told us the state had issued a heat warning because somewhere else in the great Tar Heel state, temps might have reached 100 degrees.
And oh, by the way, right here in the mountains some big digial signs next to large, paved highways in the middle of nowhere had registered 100 degrees. Now that’s a reliable source of information.
Holly Headache went on to read the litany of what not to do when temperatures reach dangerous levels: don’t leave children in cars, get dehydrated, blah, blah, blah. What Holly Headache failed to mention was that TV news readers shouldn’t stand out in the sun letting their hair get dishelved (yeah, her hair looked like shit in that tease) while wearing a black, wool business suit.
Holly, was it really all that hot? Because you sure weren’t dressed like it was.
Then we cut to Cabana Boy Cuevas, who ratchets up the fear factor by telling us that “heat indices” around the mountains were pretty damn high. He really didn’t bing up the fact that the high temperature was 89 degress.
He had to report the heat index (yeah, Cuevas, just call them heat indexes – stop trying to be smarter than everyone else by using “heat indices”) was high. What’s a heat index? Cuevas never explained, although he mentioned something about that’s what the temperature feels like when you add in the humidity, or something weather geekish like that.
Hey all you weather geeks, explain to me what the eff a heat index is.
Anyway, we at Ashvegas know now what a real heat wave is, after just getting back from Las Vegas, where it was 117 degrees, Cuevas. Yeah, that was the high temperature on Tuesday. The low was 95, 96 degrees.
Anyhoo, glad to see that WLOS hasn’t progressed one whit in the few days we’ve been gone.
You guys blasting W-LOSers weather are missing a serious point: If it weren’t for Cabana Boy and Miss Wunderful, they would have another 8 minutes or so of airtime to fill with what? Kung Fu Le? Jen X? Stupid man on the street opinions? Darcel’s hands “signing” the news?
Given those options, my old friend Bubba said he’d prefer watching Cabana Boy audition for Flat Rock Theater in front of a blank wall, or Miss Wunderful show us her ample profile.
Heat indexes and wind chill are all BS. It’s just a way to make it seem hotter or colder than it really is. It’s an excuse to say it is 20 below when it is really only freezing. It’s a way to say its 100 degrees when it is really on 85.
How come they don’t have shade indices – what the temperature feels like if you are in the shade — it’s 85 degrees but the shade indicies are coming in at a comfortable 72.
And why not a sun indicie in the winter — it’s 32 degrees but if you are in the sun it feels like a comfortable 41.
What is the wind chill? – what the temperature feels like when you add in the wind? It works if you’re naked. A nice windbreaker erases the effect of wind chill.
Just say it is hot and humid or cold and breezy with the real temperature, not something made up.
Ashvegas, while you were getting blasted in Vegas, you missed one even worse than the story on the heat…
Cuevas was doing a weather tease on Tuesday, there was a lot of activity going on in South Buncombe County. When he swung it back over to Darcel, she said…”If you hear a rumbling sound outside, it’s more than likely thunder.”
Well no shit Darcel, it’s only thundered here in WNC since the beginning of time. Ashvegas, do me a favor and get off Cuevas for a while and start looking into why Darcel sounds like a complete dumbass sometimes.
The heat index is used in similar fashion as the wind chill is used in the winter. The heat index describes what it feels like to the exposed skin when the moisture content is factored in with the temperature. Here is the heat index formula: It gives valid results above 70 deg. F.
(-42.379+2.04901523*t+10.14333127*r-.22475541*t*r-(6.83783e-3)*t^2-(5.48 1717e-2)*r^2+(1.22874e-3)*t^2*r+(8.5282e-4)*t*r^2-(1.99e-6)*t^2*r^2)
t=temp deg f and r=%rel hum