Gawker on Shuler’s bid to unseat Pelosi: She’s gonna rip his balls off and keep ’em in a jar

Jason Sandford

Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.

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Here’s Gawker’s take on U.S. Rep. Heath Shuler’s bid to unseat Nancy Pelosi as minority leader of the U.S. House:

If Shuler does run, expect the outcome to be… hmm… what’s the proper term here?… oh yes: expect the outcome to be Nancy Pelosi ripping his balls off and keeping them in a pickled jar on her desk, forever. It would definitely be possible for a different moderate or conservative Democrat, one with some standing and Washington know-how, to knock off Pelosi. But Heath Shuler? He’s been in Congress for less than four years, during which time he’s voted against most of the major pieces of legislation brought forward by the party he now wants to lead. Effective party leaders, historically, have been the ones who don’t want the other party to win.

And most importantly, look what happened the last time Shuler was put in charge of a major Washington institution: 13 touchdowns against 19 interceptions, and a wasted third-overall draft pick. Learn from your mistakes, Washington.