Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
You can tell it’s February sweeps when WLOSers lead the news on Monday with a story about a mom who was kicked out of Denny’s restaurant on Sunday because she was breast-feeding in public.
Anchor/reporter Leigh Ann Long (looking concerned, but not wearing the smart-girl glasses) stood outside the darkened Denny’s and told us that the restaurant management apparently didn’t believe breast milk was on the menu for their restaurant. It’s the same restaurant that last week was swamped with hundreds of customers seeking a free Grand Slam breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage and bacon (but no boob juice.)
Long said mom Crystal Everitt was “standing up for all breast-feeding moms” by speaking out about the incident, in which she said somebody threatened her with arrest. Long didn’t elaborate, and it’s not illegal to breast-feed in public, so it’s unclear where that came from.
As Long interviewed Everette over at the hipster hang-out Firestorm Cafe, her curly headed boy named Journey (looking about age 3 1; and yes, that’s what the kid’s name is, according to Long) suckled enthusiastically, and WLOS made sure to get the money shot from a couple of angles.
Everette said she’s ready to take a stand. She says she’s gotten support from breast-feeding moms from all across the country. She says she’s ready to call a nurse in so that milk-engorged breasts might surround the little West Asheville Denny’s and show them what-for.
“I’ll take my babies and my boobies on the road,” Everette declared.
Long said Denny’s corporate office didn’t return a phone call seeking comment.
In other Monday night news:
-A 15-year-old was a passenger in a truck and was killed last month when the truck crashed, and the driver of the truck didn’t have a license. But the driver won’t face charges because he was driving on a private road in a gated community, and you don’t have to have a license to do that, WLOSers said the Highway Patrol said.
-A McDowell County woman faces rape charges for having sex with a 13-year-old.
-A Haywood County man will face 16 years in prison for statutory rape and one count of indecent liberties.
–Buddy Thompson of the Asheville-Buncombe Arson Task Force says he’s seen 30 fires so far this year, with half of them listed as arson, which is different than what WLOSers reported on Sunday night, when they said there have been 30 arsons so far this year.
-A teen was charged with vandalism for painting graffiti on the old Paris Bakery building on Merrimon Avenue.
–BorgWarner is laying off 140 workers by the end of the week.
-Roberson High School baseball players comment on the admitted steroid use of Major Leaguer Alex Rodriguez.
-And state troopers will be cracking down on interstate speeders.
A mother breastfeeding her child is nothing but an instinctual, sweet, innocent, selfless, giving act of love.
The only perverted thing about it are those of you who are getting weirded out about it and seeing some sort of sexual connotation!
Feeding and nurturing a child is what Mother Nature (or God, for those of you who pretend to be Christians) gave women breasts for!!
End of story!
ok, to manderdander, you’re obviously very beyond conservative, although in reality probably a lot more of a hypocrite, but that’s another story.
"this guest was exposed in a manner that was causing discomfort toward other guests to the point of them complaining to management and leaving the restaurant"
That, is a very vague statement, coming from a business that feels that their butt is on fire, so they’re trying to cover it. It’s enough that someone like yourself is sitting there and decides to complain. Doesn’t mean anything.
This is the exact reason why there are LAWS protecting bf’ing moms. The bigger problem in this case was that the local police obviously doesn’t (or didn’t, I’d hope they now DO) know the law in NC regarding bf’ing in public!
To everybody, here’s a link to something they should obviously do in NC!!!!!
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/around_town/the_scene/Lactating-Women-Getting-Second-Looks-in-Marin.html#RuF21CpEBxo4c0Aky7tbQuZGykDcJ9AwMD
Ha! You people reacted just like I thought you would!! I didn’t even once imply that breastfeeding is a sexual act. Ew! I am very well educated on the necessity of breast feeding thank you very much and just because I don’t agree with you on this issue doesn’t mean I wasn’t breastfed as a baby and need to talk to my therapist about the issues (your mama) I also greatly appreciate the quip about the effects of second hand smoke! Thank you! Thank you for that information! I somehow knew someone would yack about that as well! To all the mom’s in the world who breastfeed in public: Great! I’m happy for ya, but is it possible for you to be a little discreet and respectful of those around you?
"Just because you’re lugging a kid around does not give you any more rights than other people have – people who are behaving decently and trying to enjoy their meal." Looks like Christy and I need to hang!
Also, from the ACT
"Rick Pate, regional director of operations for the Denny’s restaurant chain, said Everitt was not told to leave but was asked to conceal herself or move to a more private area.
“In this particular case, this guest was exposed in a manner that was causing discomfort toward other guests to the point of them complaining to management and leaving the restaurant,” Pate said, reading from a prepared statement. "
Oh, and thanks Beth, for your comment!
All of the problems in the world today and this post gets 31 comments. OMG. Tell this woman her 15 minutes of fame is up. WLOS devoted almost five minutes to her cause again last night. ENOUGH already!
About time Denny’s had another scandal. It’s been awhile since the chef’s hats were pointed. (They had a number of racial discrimination complaints a few years back for those too young to remember.) I hope the woman sues and wins big.
I feel compelled to respond to this as both a native Southerner and as a woman who breastfed her children. My southern Mama taught me to always be polite and courteous, which meant that I was to respect the feelings of others whether I agreed with them or not. And as someone who also grew up around a lot of older and more conservative folks, I know that many of them have more modest proclivities than I do. And I don’t see that as either good or bad—it just is. So, when I was out in public, I threw a light cover over exposed areas when I nursed. It was no big deal and caused no harm to my baby and no one ever, in all the times I nursed in public, had anything negative to say. It seems to me that those who take the defiant stance of refusing to cover themselves are making a judgment about those who have more modest tendencies and that they are trying to impose THEIR values on others. And I wonder, if their objective is to promote breastfeeding, if they’re not antagonizing people more than winning them to their very worthy cause. It seems to have gotten lost in all the debate that, as I understand it, she was simply originally asked to cover herself, as a courtesy to others. By making that simple request, it seems to me that the management of Dennys were NOT making a judgment on breastfeeding, but simply considering the feelings of ALL their customers.
I just want to say…when I leave a restaurant, I wouldn’t know if the president was seated near me. I don’t mind other people’s business and I hope thet’re not minding mine. No one goes out in public to be scrutinized. We’re all just getting things done, living our lives. Part of living is eating. That happens to include nursing mothers and their babies–regardless of age.
Babies have to eat like everyone else. In fact, it’s even more detrimental for them to be nourished whenever they’re hungry. If babies weren’t breastfed, humans wouldn’t exist today because this is how nature intended for us to feed our offspring. Formula hasn’t even been around for a century yet, but we’ve been here and breastfeeding for at least a couple millennia–that everyone can agree on. So even if you weren’t breastfed, chances are your grandparents and/or every single one of your ancestors before them were.
If a law says adults need to go to the restroom or car to eat, then–and only then–can you tell a woman she has to feed her child there. Otherwise, you’re just being blissfully ignorant–and I’m probably being too generous there.
It absolutely amazes me how many people are still, in 2009, in two thousand freakin nine, are so absolutely completely blatantly ignorant about breastfeeding!!!
I mean, comparing breastfeeding your child to blowing smoke in someone’s face or to having a bowel movement in public?!?!?! You’ve got to be kidding me!
There are a lot more and a lot better resources about breastfeeding as far as I’m concerned, but just especially for all of those that are super beyond conservative, here’s a link to the most conservative source about breastfeeding!!
Give us a break, will you!
http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/895_brstfeed.html
As for you, Ash, if being in the South is a problem for you sweetheart, perhaps you should hit the road and go somewhere that your warped morals are more appreciated. "The South" doesn’t need you.
Christy: You sound like a nut. A very "moral" nut.
How can you possibly equate breastfeeding with taking a dump in public? Obviously you’re one of the uneducated and uninformed on breastfeeding. You have the right to eat in public; so does my baby.
Most the time, people see more flesh on prime time TV. About the only time you *might* see more than what you could see on any beach is when the baby is latching on or off. That misses the point though. She was nursing her baby, you know doing with her breast that which they were meant for. This is America folks. You do not have the right to not be offended. Try this, Look some where else and mind your own business if if bugs you that much.
I know vaguely know Crystal. Two points:
1) She has two kids, one who is 3 yrs old and the baby who was being breastfed.
2) Technically, according to Crystal, the charge she was threatened with was trespassing, because the cop the Denny’s manager had called told Crystal that if she did not leave when asked to by the manager, technically she would be trespassing. Note that the manager had not actually asked Crystal to leave at that point, just to stop breastfeeding. Evidently, the manager did not ask Crystal to leave until after being told this by the cop, Crystal asked the manager, "Are you asking me to leave?" To which the manager said yes. So Crystal did.
This kind of thing is exactly the reason that I refuse to cover while breastfeeding in public. Breastfeeding is wonderful and nourishing. Babies eat when and where they need to eat. If it’s ok for someone to give their child a bottle in public, then giving them a breast in public is right and should be encouraged. I’ve breastfed for a total of 9years and have never encountered any negativity. I’m shocked that people are offended by a baby/toddler breastfeeding…..eating in an eating establishment…the nerve!
I can not believe you people. Breastfeeding in a public restaurant is rude and most certainly should be against the law. You should just stay at home or find some other private area to do that. Other people eating there have rights too. Just because you’re lugging a kid around does not give you any more rights than other people have – people who are behaving decently and trying to enjoy their meal. For crying out loud, having a bowel movement is perfectly natural but no one wants to see someone doing that while having what was intended to be a nice meal in a restaurant.
As for you, Ash, if being in the South is a problem for you sweetheart, perhaps you should hit the road and go somewhere that your warped morals are more appreciated. "The South" doesn’t need you.
I would rather sit with hundreds of breast feeding moms then just one disgusting smoker. Yes, anyone that sits in a smell distance from a smoker is inhaling unfiltered smoke that is twice a dangerous. AKA, Denny’s, Cracker Barrel, Chili’s Airport Road and the list goes on at places where you can get your cancer without even lighting up.
Mander Dander wrote "It’s in a restaurant people! Maybe those of us that don’t have, or will ever, have children don’t want to be grossed out while trying to eat our Grand Slams! We don’t come up to you and your baby and blow smoke in your face do we?"
This is so confusing to me. How can you be grossed out while you are eating a Grand Slam? I’d personally be more grossed out by watching someone eat a Grand Slam, but I simply choose not watch someone eat bloody slaughtered hormone injected animals, and look in the other direction.
Surely you are able to do the same, Mander Dander, while a child is eating what he is meant to eat. And if people are grossed out, maybe they should seriously consider the reasons why. Breastfeeding is a nuturing and beautiful thing that mothers do for their children.
February sweeps was cancelled this year by Nielson because of the digital switch.
Mander Dander, I am sorry your mother did not breast feed you, but that is in the past. Your aggression towards mothers is something you need to talk to your therapist about. None of us want to see hungry, abused children. Mothers taking good care of their babies is something most of us WANT to see. If you are so disturbed by Women’s bodies you should learn to make pancakes at home.
"We don’t come up to you and your baby and blow smoke in your face do we?"
Well, I didn’t come up to your table and squirt milk in your face, so I think we can all agree to stay at our own tables, do what is legally permitted and reasonable, and you can get over whatever hangup you have about babies eating the food they’re supposed to eat from the source it naturally comes from.
Not to mention that second-hand smoke has many negative health consequences, and simply witnessing the act of breastfeeding has zero negative health consequences, and lots of positives for both mom & nursling.
BREASTFEEDING IS NOT A CRIME!
As a breastfeeding mummy myself, I refuse to do it in public because of my own modesty hangups but I always look in admiration to the women who CAN. Every mommy has the right to breastfeed where she wants and just like Nina said, had it been me I would’ve been calling my lawyer immediately! The problem is people who don’t have children or never breastfed don’t understand, and that ignorance is why people are embarrassed by it. Couple that with the sexual overtone of breasts in society and suddenly people think it’s a lewd act. Give me a break.
I think the proper way for the manager of Denny’s to handle the situation would be a public apology to the mother (and ALL breastfeeding mums), and a mandatory information session from the La Leche League to the employees of Denny’s (and Victoria’s Secret, and Malvern Hills pool, and anywhere else there’s been an incident of someone mistaking breastfeeding as a crime.) to educate them on breastfeeding.
ManderDander: Do you eat in the restroom? Would you want to be sequestered to eating in your car whenever your family went to a restaurant?
If you don’t want to see a woman breastfeeding her kid, then don’t look.
__________________
ManderDander wrote:
That’s cool. Let her child suckle from her boobie as long as the little guy wants, but God forbid she go into the restroom or out to her car, or even try to be a little discreet about it. Just because you have children isn’t an excuse to do whatever the hell you want too in public.
A nursing child should have no bearing on your ablility to enjoy your grease laden Grand Slam if you are indeed being a polite and courteous human being. If it is bothering you, then you are obviously looking too closely and *oh gosh! being RUDE! Get over yourself and remember your manners! The BABY was nursing the way nature intended.
http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/en/index.html
"WHO actively promotes breastfeeding as the best source of nourishment for infants and young children."
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/statements/2008/s08/en/index.html
"Mothers need support not only to begin breastfeeding within one hour of birth, but also to sustain exclusive breastfeeding for six months, and continue breastfeeding for two years or beyond, as well as giving other nutritious foods."
Clearly breastfeeding is appropriate, even for children older than two.
"Maybe those of us that don’t have, or will ever, have children don’t want to be grossed out while trying to eat our Grand Slams! We don’t come up to you and your baby and blow smoke in your face do we? "
Breastfeeding in public is not ‘gross’. It’s not sexual for the mother or the child, it’s A.Child.Eating. That’s it. No one asks you to eat in the bathroom or the car, and if you have a problem with a child eating in public, not to mention getting the best nutrition possible (certainly better than the fare Denny’s offers, but I digress)…please feel free to put a blanket over your head.
Breastfeeding is not a sexual act, and not in any way like deficating. NC law makes this distinction and protects our right to nurse wherever we are allowed to be.
Who wants to eat on a toilet? Much less a public one with questionable sanitation? Few babies are comfortable nursing with blankets or "hooter hiders" draped over their heads. What’s more disruptive to other diners, a mom nursing (you have the freedom to not look–just turn your head!) or a shrieking baby?
Get over it. More moms are choosing to breastfeeding because of the overwhelming benefits for ourselves and our children, and in this day in age we’re not likely to be content to remain housebound until weaning time.
That’s cool. Let her child suckle from her boobie as long as the little guy wants, but God forbid she go into the restroom or out to her car, or even try to be a little discreet about it. Just because you have children isn’t an excuse to do whatever the hell you want too in public.
"Even in the USA it is recommended by the American Association of Pediatric Doctors that babies are breastfed to at least age 1, and however longer both are comfortable with. Not how long an uninformed bystander is comfortable with."
It’s in a restaurant people! Maybe those of us that don’t have, or will ever, have children don’t want to be grossed out while trying to eat our Grand Slams! We don’t come up to you and your baby and blow smoke in your face do we?
Yup I agree–I’d say around 18 months–but it doesn’t matter (as I sit here nursing my 2 year old toddler). That is crap about the child being clinically too old to breastfeed. There is no such thing. Anthropologist Katherine Dettweiler has done a wide-ranging study that shows the natural age of weaning to be anywhere from 4-7 years–too bad the US is so backwards in our thinking that the breast is for sexual pleasure instead of for what it was actually created–nourishing babies.
First of all, that child is not 3. Maybe around 18 months. Has anyone seen a three year old lately?
Second, it doesn’t technically matter. Breastfeeding in public is not illegal. Even in a restaurant, which is considered a place of public accommodation.
The people who seem to be offended by extended breastfeeding are obviously uneducated about the benefits of breastfeeding. Many places in the world breastfeed past age 2. Even in the USA it is recommended by the American Association of Pediatric Doctors that babies are breastfed to at least age 1, and however longer both are comfortable with. Not how long an uninformed bystander is comfortable with.
Kristin, you’re the expert — one year old, it is!
After watching the WLOS video again, I’d say he’s closer to 12 months!
I have a 2 year old (still nursing, in public when need be) and I spend a lot of time around toddlers these days. If that boy is 3 he is definitely at the bottom of the charts–I thought he was more around 18 months. Not that there’s anything wrong with nursing a three year old. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years and as long after as mutually desired. Breastfeeding toddlers may be unusual in our culture, but not in many other countries–it is biologically quite normal (and beneficial) for our species. If anyone would like some actual facts about nursing past infancy, go to http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
Nina, thanks for your note. Asheville may be child friendly, but we’re still in the South, and there have been a few notable instances of mothers being unfairly singled out for breast-feeding in public.
I remember an instance at the Malvern Hills pool a few years back. Local moms staged a nurse-in. Seems like there was another case as well, but I can’t remember…
I’m a breast-feeding mother, & I have breast fed in this Denny’s with no problem. And I know that if I was kicked out of a public place for breast feeding, I would be calling my lawyer to discuss a lawsuit against the place that kicked me out! I also understand that not everyone is comfortable with breast feeding, & when I breastfeed in public, I wear an apron over me & my baby. As far as the child’s age, that shouldn’t matter. It’s a mother’s right to breastfeed, & I’m surprised by this story in a mother/child friendly city like Asheville.
"Nurse-In 2009: The Babies and Boobies Tour"
Leigh Ann Long didn’t say in the report how old the child was, so I’m just guessing. But the child was not a baby, and 3 yrs I think is a pretty good guess.
So who will be the first person to create a Facebook group called "I’ll take my babies and my boobies on the road"
Three years old? Thats just weird ask any doctor. Breast feeding a hungry infant is fine but a two to three years old is just strange. She won’t be able to put up a big fight since the kid is to old clinically for breast feeding. Sounds like Denny’s management had an issue with the kids age not the breast feeding.
End of story
I agree the kid looked about age three. Breast feeding actual infants is one thing, but walking, talking toddlers?? There’s something kinda creepy and gross about that.