Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Great gallery here at Nerdarchy of depictions of the presidential political candidates in comic art and other art.
And because Asheville apparently loves all things zombie, don’t miss the American Zombie’s Guide to Election 2008.
Here’s a guide to how zombies are voting on the issues:
The Environment: Zombies are just as concerned about the environment as the living. Measures to reduce greenhouse gases need to be taken (heat speeds up decomposition, thus shortening a zombie’s undead life span). Green policies also ensure that the living are healthier, are eating more organic foods, and are breathing in less pollution. This enhances their taste and texture dramatically. The zombie presidential pick in this area is Barack Obama, since he has the most ambitious plan to address climate change.
The Housing Crisis: Houses are hard for a zombie to get into. You have to lumber around until you find a wide open screen door (part of natural zombie stiffening – it’s impossible to turn doorknobs) and then lumber in and hope there’s not a dog or a gun owner. The zombie presidential pick on this issue is John McCain because he’s the least likely to do anything to bail American home owners out, resulting in more homeless people and more meal chances for you.
Guns: A bullet to the head is the best way to put down a zombie, so naturally, zombies should support gun control. Hillary Clinton is the best zombie option on this issue; she supports the assault weapons ban, as well as several other gun control measures such as registration, background checks and trigger guard. Keep guns out of the hands of the living!
Education: Zombies thrive in populations that lack critical thinking and analytical skills. If your targeted meals can’t make quick decisions or perform basic deductive reasoning, they’re more likely to do something stupid like get stuck in a corner, and you’re more likely to eat brains for another day. John McCain, as the only candidate who supports No Child Left Behind, is the zombie presidential pick. His election would ensure that future generations of American children are taught only the robotic skills they need to pass standardized tests and not the critical and creative skills they need to evade hungry zombies.
