Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Our Bring Back Bettes petition has really riled some of you up. Here’s some of the fun:
White Lightnin’
Best. Sign. Ever. Almost choked on my Chocolate Lucky Charms cereal when I saw that on the site this morning. Too freakin’ funny. KA-BOOM! rumble, rumble, rumble…
Lightnin’ has spoken!
PS- Did you know they made Chocolate Lucky Charms cereal? Man, this stuff is tasty. Tasty, I tell you.
My reply
Did you know a Cuevas Halloween costume inspired Count Chocula?
So-called Sara hurts my feelings…
You know you still spelled his name wrong. I like Cuevas and so do many others. Since you continue to attack him on your website, I will no longer visit your so called ‘blog’ and I hope others see the writing on the wall and do the same. One very disatisfied reader.
My reply
Sniff (dabbing eyes with tissue) I…am…so…hurt. Not. You’re one dissatisfied reader? What, are you paying for this shit? Get over it.
No Bettes
Man who u kiddin, bring back bettes? thats a joke, keep cuevas…for once a man who takes his job and life seriously. who wants someone who dates fake austrailan girls? id rather vote to keep cuevas…
My reply
Shhhhhhh. You’re giving it away – you just said that’s a joke. Shhhhhh. Everyone else around here thinks everything on this blog is REAL. Hush up!
And finally, my favorite, from Jon
If this if for real, I hope Cuevas finds out and sues you for Deformation of Character, Libel. I should know, I’m an attorney.
My reply
Jon, you’re an attorney? For who? Dewy Cheetum and Howe? As for any deformation of character lawsuit, look, he’s already deformed. We can see that. So you got nothing there, buddy. Better go back to your law books. You gonna sue me for having an opinion? What the fuck – you living in Baghdad or something?
Hey Jon, I just turned the sign on again. Quick! Hurry! Run down to Pack Square and you’ll see it.
bwwaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaaa-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How Jay Seltzer ruined my vacation:
About three years ago, on a slow news day (I guess) Jay did this amazing TV only story about the dangers of charcoal.
Turns out that under the right conditions, a bag of charcoal is susceptible to spontaneous combustion. (You have to get the bag wet and then store the charcoal in a hot place, if I remember correctly.)
Last week, I was grilling out just before leaving on a whirlwind trip to the Adirondacks. It rained and my bag of charcoal got a little wet.
I have a rack below my grill that I put my charcoal on and a large, black cover that drapes over the whole contraption.
I put everything away and left on my three day trip.
About an hour down the road, while obsessing over whether I had locked the door, that old Jay Seltzer story popped into my head. “And amazingly,” Jay incredulously whined nasally, “there are no warnings on a any bag of charcoal we could find.”
My charcoal met all the requirements for combustion. It was wet, it was in a confined space and the temperature outside the black tarp was going to be in the 90s.
For three days every time my mind relaxed I saw my deck in flames from my spontaneously combusting charcoal.
Curse you, Jay Seltzer.
Deck, charcoal and grill are fine, by the way.
I love Sara’s comment, “your so-called blog”
Like there is some ethical standard you are supposed to be living up to.
So called? It is a farkin’ blog Sara, you dimwit.
what kind of so-called post is that?
yeesh.