Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
The past couple of days have seen a jumble of hot stories on our local TV station. The signs of sweeps are everywhere. Over on Fox Carolina, the news readers are swapping their own keyboards and toilet seats to see which is germier (yes, the keyboard), while WLOSers last night brought us “Claw in soup.” Let us proceed.
Claw in Soup
“Claw in Soup” was the headline graphic last night for Cherub Charu’s sensational report about a Waynesville woman who said she was eating some clam chowder at work or something when she bit into a hard, triangular bit in the soup that resembled a claw.
“Campbell’s is supposed to be good for you,” she told the camera.
Charu talked to the soup manufacturer, who offered a number of plausible explanations – a shell, a woody stem. Then they told the woman to bag up “the claw” and FedEx it to them and they would test it.
Way to get to the bottom of the story, Charu. Way to not sensationalize anything during sweeps. Really. Way to go.
Cuevas blows weather-guessing report, again
Well, we all woke yesterday morning to some flurries and some slick bridges and a couple hundred fender-benders on the way to work. It was quite a surprise. Too bad somebody at WLOS didn’t warn us about it.
That’s because Mike “Cabana Boy” Cuevas blew the weather-guessing report yet again. After a winter season full of blown calls, Cabana Boy backed way off any snow projections Wednesday night. Then we got smacked in the face with it.
To try and recover, WLOS stuck Susan “Snow White” Mundy in front of a dry interstate at noon, fully decked out in her snow-white parka with giant hood. I’m not going to go off on the school system calling off school for a few flurries; or the little kiddies who had to rush outside in their snowpants to roll around in a dusting before it all melted by 11; or all the rednecks buying bread and milk at Ingles and then wrecking their four-wheel-drives on the way home. Nope. Not going there. Not today.
See, I don’t have time. Cuervo has cranked up the snow sirens again for tonight and tomorrow, saying we could be for a rough day. We’ll wait and see…
20-year-old sex abuse case
Charu also brought us a sensational report about the other night about a guy getting convicted in a 20-year-old sex abuse case. The guy, who worked for the town of Woodfin, molested his neice and a friend.
Charu brought us real interviews – no shadows and close-ups of hands and shit. One of the women explained how she worked in strip clubs and had a difficult emotional time dealing with the abuse. “He would rub on me and my stuff,” she said, explaining the abuse. The bottom line, the other woman said, was: “Don’t be afraid. Tell someone you trust.”
Would someone please tell Charu that the hat she was wearing that night looked like crap? The kicker on this story is that WLOS had its own video of the sex predator hanging a sign on a city park banning all sex predators.
Grapplers get pinned
Enka Middle School and Owen Middle school wrestlers won’t be able to participate in conference championships, Larry “Old Glory” Blunt told us in a rather self-righteous report. Only Larry didn’t talk to the real culprits in the case – the parents.
Larry led us down a road thinking the coach was to blame. Seems both teams competed inan extra tournament they shouldn’t have. Then Larry hits us with the dart – it was a tournament that parents wanted and parents paid for. So shouldn’t the parents be to blame? One would think, but Larry didn’t pin a parent down. The one parent he quoted was just bitching about how the rules needed bending to let these fine young people participate in sport.
Whatever.
Maybe that last writer’s name should be T-turd.. or Mrs. Cuevos Rancheros.
-Kaboom! How you like me now? … the Lightnin’ has spoken. Mike.-
— WL —
PS- Quite respectable? That ain’t even a sentence, homes. It has neither a subject nor a verb. You must work at WLOS. Your grammar skills (or lack thereof) give you away.
Oh, snap! Now there’s a quaility interjection.. and one you can choke on. Biz-natch.
Tbird – Cabana Boy sucks. And did you look outside Saturday morning? He got it completely and utterly wrong.
I watch 13 everyday and I seem to recall Cuevas saying we would get a dusting with 1 to 2 inches higher up. Does he need to predict how people will drive too? Give him a break, he is doing one of the best jobs anyone has in the 23 years I have lived here. Quite respectable. I’m sure you will slam him even if it does snow like he says, or so it seems from your posts. Of course, I do recall him getting the ice storm right but didn’t see it mentioned here. T
It’s all a conspiracy. WLOS and Ingles are in cahoots.
Cahoots, I tell you.
Ever notice how much Ingles advertises on WLOS? And why does WLOS want it to snow? So you can stay home, eat your Ingles’ food and watch-more-of-the-TV-box.
Don’t even get me started on the plot to overthrow the government spearheaded by Leister Carpet Sales….
The truth is out there (and it ain’t on WLOS).
Kaboom! rumble, rumble, rumble.. let’s all go to Ingles.
White Lightnin’ has spoken. Sheep.
-WL-
The Ingles on Merrimon was packed at 2:30, so I came home and kindly asked hubby to go to the store to get our weekly grocery supply. I put it off for three days. Hmmm, I’m not sure if he’ll be home before the sun goes down. I hope we get what they are predicting. I’m tired of this pansy show of snow.
Storm update: As of 1:00 p.m. on Friday, the North Asheville Ingle’s was packed to overflowing, with lines running back down the aisles, old folks and nursery-aged kids galore, even a woman in a leopard-skin coat stocking up on wine (Gawd forbid we run out of vino, dahlin).
Quiz of the day: which is more dangerous? Driving on ice-slicked, snowy roads in Asheville or driving through the grocery store parking lot the day before the storm?
"Too bad somebody at WLOS didn’t warn us about it."
I knew you would have something to say about the freak snow shower!
Since I don’t even have basic television to watch news 13, I’ve decided that you’re blog is a great local source. I love a little snark and wit mixed in with the news.
I’ll go there for you, guy. Damn, what is up with calling Asheville City Schools for a dusting of snow on the grass, none on the streets, and sun and blue skies by 10:30 a.m. Why not a two-hour delay?