Tiger_Mountain_Thirst_Parlour_2013The deliciously subversive boys at Tiger Mountain Thirst Parlour, a downtown hipster dive bar, are offering a $30 bar tab to the person who writes what they consider¬†“the most ridiculous, surreal, hilarious, or otherwise entertaining Yelp review of Tiger Mountain. The winner will chosen in two weeks.” (These are the same guys that instituted a controversial “locals only” policy during Bele Chere.)

The offer follows a couple of harsh review of the bar on Yelp. Here’s a sample of one of those posts:

THIS PLACE SUCKS. i’ve heard they’ve had problems with A.L.E. and i can see why. whole racist thing aside, there’s nothing here for anyone who doesn’t “fit in”, which is the antithesis of progressive, welcoming Asheville vibe. essentially, this is a joint where social elitists can take a break from all of the pesky eclecticism of the Asheville. you’re better off brown bagging it with the bums in Chicken Alley. for sure, they won’t judge you.

It looks like at least one person has taken up the challenge. Here’s a sample from that post:

The place is impressive. It’s fashioned in Tuscan farmhouse style with a welcoming entryway. There is seating for those who are waiting.

My booth was near the bathrooms, and I watched the bartenders in white shirts, ties, black trousers and aprons adorned with gold-colored towels. They were busy at midnight, punching in orders and carrying out Pimm’s Cups and trays lined with shots of Ice 101.

It had been a few years since I visited at the older Tiger Mountain location in Bat Cave, so I studied the two manageable offerings of drinks.

At length, I asked my bartender what she would recommend. She suggested a double of Fernet, and I went with that. Instead of the raspberry lemonade she suggested, I drank water on the side.


  1. So it’s been two weeks… any word on how they’ll announce the winner?

  2. the filtered reviews are hilarious, right down to the fleece lined vibrator taint scrubbing.

  3. unfortunately, all of the really awesome new reviews are going into the “filtered” section. So sad, there is some great creative writing there.

  4. Oh Tiger, where for art thou stripes?

  5. A bar asking for Yelp reviews?…how sad

    • ‘Ridiculous’ Yelp reviews, that is. Think of hilariously awful fan fiction with a dash of bad grammar. Besides, no one types up a review on Yelp except for pretentious wannabe foodies or disgruntled self-important old people.

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