STU HELM’S FOOD FEED: 10 Wieners, 4 Winners, 2 Birthday Cakes, Burgers, Bones, and a Turkey Sandwich

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Hello, Asheville! Here’s another Food Feed for you! The words and pictures below were originally posted to social media, mostly Facebook, but also Instagram.  I hope that you will enjoy them, and that you will be able to get some, if not all of the delicious food items listed here!


The Food Feed is in reverse chronological order. Scroll down through the past…


NANI’S ROTISSERIE CHICKEN

Originally posted to Stu Helm: Food Fan Facebook page on 8/03/2021

I got the “Chicken Burger” sandwich from Nani’s Rotisserie Chicken and it was frickin’ delicious. Messy. But delicious! Those house made piri piri tater chips were 100 percent bomb. Especially when dipped in the buttermilk sauce. Gahd I love you, Nani’s.


12 BONES RIVER

Originally posted to Stu Helm: Food Fan Facebook page on 7/23/2021

I went to 12 Bones River yesterday with my mom and nephew. I got a smoked turkey sandwich with collards, grits, and 3 ribs. Yum!!!


CARMEL’S KITCHEN & BAR

Posted to Stu Helm: Food Fan Facebook page on 7/26/2021

I had a very nice lunch with my good friend Jane at Carmels Kitchen & Bar in the Grove Arcade the other day. I had a tasty cheddar burger. Yes, I piled that slaw right on the burger. I might not be the smartest person you’ll ever meet, but I ain’t no dummy.


OLD EUROPE

Originally posted to Stu Helm: Food Fan Facebook page on  8/02/2021

My family recently celebrated some birthdays together and my nephew’s GF brought these two incredible cakes from Old Europe Pastries!


PUNK ROCK HOT DOGS

Originally posted to Stu Helm: Food Fan Facebook page on 7/31/2021 & 8/01/2021

Below is an encapsulation of my posts from the day of Punk Rock Hot Dogs 2021. If you want to see more pictures and read more words about the event, you can either look on my own blog, Stu Helm: Food Fan or scroll through my Facebook Feed.

ALL THE DOGS ARE GONE! No more hot dogs! The 2021 Punk Rock Hot Dogs throw down is done and over and the doors are closed and locked. It was wildly successful and a ton of fun and I will announce the winners soon! Don’t go to The Asheville Masonic Temple to get dogs, because there are none left. ??


Here are the ten competing Punk Rock Hot Dogs in order. ALL of them were awesome! See if you can guess who won the Judges’ Choice and who won The People’s Choice! I’ll announce it next. And yes, you read that right, Puke competed today. Bun It LLC was unfortunately unable to make it, so I partnered up with Brasstown Beef and together we offered the “Saucisse avec sauce American classique.” ? Thank you to all the competitors! You crushed it! Thank you VIP ticket holders! Together we raised over $4,000 to put toward badly needed repairs and restoration to The Asheville Masonic Temple!

L: Baba Nahm R: Bear’s Smokehouse BBQ

L: Black Bear BBQ R: Cultura

L: The Malvern Asheville / Foothills Local Meats / The Barksdale R: The Odditorium

L: Puke / Brasstown Beef R: Pupuseria Paty Asheville

L: Storm Rhum Bar and Bistro R: Zack of All Trades / Farm Dogs and


WINNER! PEOPLE’S CHOICE

CONGRATS! To the winners of The People’s Choice award, Chef Chris Cox from The Malvern Asheville, who teamed up with Casey Miller Hot Dog Queen at The Barksdale, and Butcher Meg Montgomery from Foothills Local Meats to make this masterpiece!

From Chef Cox: “Custom made hotdog from Foothills Local Meats, stuffed with pickled onions and cheddar. Then we topped it with pickles, pickled onions, shredded lettuce, blowtorched American cheese, potato stix, special sauce and everything bagel spice. In essence , a burger from the burger boi. It was based off of The Vandals song Anarchy Burger. I figured it was punk AF too avoid the hot dogs and do my own thing. ?”


WINNER! JUDGE’S CHOICE

CONGRATS!!! To Chef Eric Morris from Cultura who won The Judges’ Choice Award for his incredible HoctoDog! It consists of squid ink brioche bun, fried octopus tentacle, green papaya salad, XO mayo and fried shallot. Chef Eric seems to have really understood the part in the rules where it said “there are no rules!” LOL His monstrous creation scored more points with the judges than any other hot dog! The categories were Presentation, Creativity, Taste, and How Fucking Punk Is It? One judge gave it a perfect score!

Along with accolades, bragging rights, street cred, well known chops, and the respect of his peers, Chef Eric won a kickass prize package sponsored by Asheville Spice Company and Paul Taylor Sandals, Belts and Vintage Buckles!

Go see Chef Eric Morris at Cultura as soon as you can. Not only is he the 2021 Hot Dog Champ, NOT ONLY is he punk as FUCK, but he is truly an amazing chef!


SECOND PLACE / JUDGES’ CHOICE

Congrats to Bear’s Smokehouse BBQ, who came in 2nd place with the judges! They turned their hot dog into a FULLY FUNCTIONAL pipe, and served it with a lighter, a pipe stem, and an actual, smokable nug of Delta 8. If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’. All hail Bear’s for this hilarious entry that was as delicious as it was creative!

They were repped by Catering/Events Director Alex and GM/Pit Master Collyn and served up “an all beef frank ‘bowl’ with red and green relish, mustard, and EZ cheese, in a potato bun rolled in umami house made ‘keef.’ Oh, and a healthy lil nug of delta 8!”

At one point, I was, like, “Where’d all the dang judge’s go?” Yep. I shoulda known. – Photos by C. Cappah Teenie, Paddy Riels, and Steven Goff.


ALSO RANKED

And finally, congrats to Zack Neel representing Farm Dogs, who placed third with the judges and second with the people!

In Zack’s own words, “It was the underdog. Chosen to represent bad vibes. A local punk band that actually recorded an album in my basement during quarantine. Their name is bad vibes. Each ingredient represented a member of the band. It had arugula, chimmichurri, ginger balsamic bacon jam and shoestring potato”

Zack was helped by Caitlyn Hope Wood and Justin Owen.


Thank you to ALL the professional dog slingers who participated in the 2021 Punk Rock Hot Dogs throw down! You all brought the fun, the attitude, the creativity, and the deliciousness! ❤️❤️❤️

ABOVE: L: Baba Nahm R: Bear’s Smokehouse BBQ

ABOVE: L: Black Bear BBQ R: Cultura.

ABOVE: L: The Malvern Asheville / Foothills Local Meats / The Barksdale R: The Odditorium.

ABOVE: L: Puke / Brasstown Beef R: Pupuseria Paty Asheville

 ABOVE: L: Storm Rhum Bar and Bistro. R: Zack of All Trades / Farm Dogs


And last but certainly not least, I want to thank my new friend, and the new executive chef at my imaginary restaurant, Puke. Chef Bennet Depew from Brasstown Beef stepped up at the very last minute, threw on a Puke shirt, and started slinging hotdogs under the Puke banner. Y’see, one of our vendors was unfortunately unable to attend on the day of the event, but I had a secret contingency plan for Puke to step in if such an emergency should occur! I enlisted Chef Depew at 10:59am (doors were at 11:00), and without hesitation, he said, “Can I just throw a dog on a bun, squirt mustard all over it, and call it something like, “Saucisse avec sauce American classique?” And I replied, as I wiped away a tear, “That’s exactly what Puke would do.” It was a beautiful moment in hot dog history, and Chef Depew did a beautiful job! Even though we came in last place, we did not have a low score! None of the dogs were panned by the people or the judges! Not even Puke’s!

In all seriousness, the Brasstown Beef hot dogs were DE-FRICKIN-LICIOUS and Chef Depew cooked them just right. I ate two Classiques myself! ?❤️??

Great event! Thanks, Shay Brown Events, and all of our sponsors, participants, volunteers, judges, and VIP Ticket buyers!



Stu Helm is a writer, blogger, and social media personality living and working in Asheville,NC.

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If you would like to “tip” Stu for his efforts, please Venmo him at Stu-Helm
or PayPal at stuhelmavl@gmail.com