Ex-porn star’s doll stolen
Carolyn “Little Red” Ryan went all the way out to Maggie Valley on Tuesday to tell us that a porn star that used to make videos for hdpornvideo xxx that now owns an adult novelty shop had a lifesized Marilyn Monroe sex doll stolen from her store.
Carolyn, dressed in a tight sweater just for summer, and probably just for this story, visited Victoria Steele’s Little Shop of Fantasies. WLOSers have been there before. About a year ago, when the shop opened, some people complained about the shop, while others said if the little girl wanted to sell candy drawers, well go right ahead.
By the way, Carolyn didn’t really tell us about Victoria Steele’s movie career. Not that it’s exactly relevent, but what the hell. Victoria “starred” in exactly five movies, according to adultfilmdatabase.com, including “World’s Biggest Bang Off” and “Jone T. Bone’s World’s Biggest Bang Off,” both in the “gangbang” genre, which Victoria apparently specialized in. Her other movie genres include “oral” and “feature.”
So, back to the story. Victoria Steele (aka Michelle Lynn Sutton) said the people who stole the doll knew exactly what they were doing. They also stole some jewelry and a couple of store video surveillance tapes, although Carolyn said police found one that wasn’t stolen. The brazen thieves threw a cinderblock through the front window to get the goods.
Let’s take another moment here to dissect the doll. Carolyn descrbied it as a “computerized” Marilyn Monroe doll, and quoted Victoria Steele as saying “you have to work in the industry” to get it. Wow. Computerized, lifesized sex doll. You could probably program her to giggle and blow up her skirt. Who knows what else.
Like we said, Victoria thinks she knows who did it and she just asks that the love doll be returned home safely.. So we’ll stay on top of this story for you. In fact, we’re sure Carolyn will ride this story to its orgasmic end.
Smokin’ Swain County teacher
Asheville police arrested a Swain County High School teacher and charged her possession of marijuana and possession with intent to sell. She’s charged with possessing about 6 ounces of ganja.
The cops said they acted on a detailed tip to bust Delphia “Maria” Keathley. Holly Headache told us the tale, and went out to interview a couple of Maria’s friends, well-known pagans Steve Rasmussen and Dixie Deerman. Holly said these two run something called the Community of Compassion for Cannabis.
Rasmussen and Deerman said that their friend was a well-known hemp activist who advocated for medical marijuana use. Keathley once operated a hemp shop in Ashvegas called High Mountain Emporium and helped educate the public about the legal uses of hemp, as well as medical marijuana, they said. Deerman and Rasmussen told Holly that their friend was a great “sharer” of the weed. Indeed.
Deerman’s best quote: She said she knew that possessing marijuana for medical uses is not a defense, “but it should be.”
ABCCM grant
ABCCM has been awarded a $214,000 grant by the Department of Labor to help train down-and-out veterans. It was one of just a small number of grants handed out.
Sister-in-law of dead soldier says something
WLOSers had an interview with the sister-in-law of David Babineau, a soldier who was killed a couple of weeks ago. This story made no sense to us, but here it is: The soldier was killed, and two of his fellow soldiers were kidnapped and later found dead. On Tuesday, somebody released a videotape that said the soldier killings were revenge for the alleged rape and murder of a family in Baghdad comitted by several other U.S. soldiers.
So after all that, the sister-in-law says she doesn’t think the soldier killings were revenge.
More lottery games
North Carolina’s lottery will start up a pick three numbers game in October and a pick five numbers game in November. Don’t forget to buy your Powerball tix for tonight’s drawing – Powerball is up to over $70 million.
In other news…
The Jackson County animal shelter needs help. That’s all we picked up… Residents in the Vanderbilt Apartments are getting moved around because of renovations there, and they don’t like it because they’re old and ornery… You can ride Ashvegas buses for free starting Aug. 14 through Nov. 11. The bus system has also extended nigh service, added some routes and is starting a “passport” system to give discounts to employees with companies that sign up… Pisgah View Apartments is getting some federal money to help with increased drug enforcement, job training, childcare and more. WLOSers will follow up on that today… Road-widening on Long Shoals Road has pissed off some residents who have a hard time now getting up their driveways. Skyland Fire Chief Dennis Presley says he’s worried about access for emergency vehicles, but he thinks they’ll get it worked out… A new indoor baseball practice facility is being built in Haywood County and will be named after David Sherrill, a teen who died in a car wreck last year, but loved baseball… Blue Ridge Community College is arguing with the state over a more in-depth audit after questions were raised about the handling of some money.
1 Comment
Are store break-ins so unusual in WNC? Is it sweeps week or something?