Note to Mumpower: If the the drug dealers don’t get you, the ovarian spasms might

I was left with the distinct impression that Dr. Mumpower desired an immediate and personal response to his presence, and waiting was not an option. Whether his intrusion into a stop such as the one I have detailed above was executed out of ignorance of the realities of police procedure and the dangers associated therewith, or was the result of a passive-aggressive effort to force police personnel to drop whatever they were doing to answer his calls for service above those created by and for the citizens of Asheville, I do not know.
Either way, I find it patently unacceptable. The political machinations surrounding the recent controversy between Dr. Mumpower and our department are none of my concern. What is my concern is the safety of not only the officers in the Drug Suppression Unit, but all the officers of the Asheville Police Department who do not deserve to be placed into a situation that requires them to decide between doing what they know is right for their safety and possibly offending an Asheville City Councilmember who has already made clear his opinion of our worth, dedication and effectiveness.

Mumpower fires back, saying he’s not doing anything wrong:

The contact with the officers was incidental to my agenda in stopping at the police substation, and, frankly, I didn’t know what they were doing one way or the other. I am not a police officer – do not know police protocols and did nothing different from what I have done in the past when I was on formal observations. In this case I was there not to chat, observe their actions, or otherwise interfere or participate.  I was there to report 4 drug dealers in 2 public housing developments within the past 15 minutes.

Now for the ovarian spasms – Leslee Kulba is a reporter who has been writing for the Asheville Tribune for awhile now. We use the term “reporter” loosely. She, like Mumpower, sent out a series of e-mails recently. Only her notes detail her mental illness issues, and the notes has been flying around town. Here Kulba explains her feelings for Mumpower:
When I first met Dr. Mumpower, he suggested I see a friend of his for psychotherapy. I was indignant, but I complied. After a few sessions, I felt the therapy was going nowhere, and so I quit. Recently, Dr.

Mumpower urged me to go back to his friend. I

complied. Today we had some major breakthroughs.

1. I AM ENTITLEMENT ORIENTED. This is the least of my

vices. While real reporters were sifting through

truckloads of information, running up phone bills on

their own tabs, playing hardball, dodging bullets, and

shedding blood, sweat, and tears constantly to get the

real story behind the story, I expected important

people to answer my questions just because I asked.

WORSE –

2. I AM A SEXUAL PREDATOR. The real reason Dr.

Mumpower wanted me to go into therapy is because I was

harassing him with ovarian spasms throughout city

council meetings. When my therapist brought this to my

attention, I denied it. I said I liked Dr. Mumpower

because he defended the Constitution and spoke wisely.

My therapist knew better. He has worked with

schizophrenics, and even they knew the difference

between promptings of the Holy Ghost and sexual urges.

My therapist further told me I as much as told Dr.

Mumpower that God had sent me on a mission to commit

adultery with him. I denied again. I insisted Dr.

Mumpower was a good Christian man with a happy home,

but the truth remains: I am a filthy pervert. Some

suppose that the four police officers at city council

meetings are there to protect Terry Bellamy from my

death threats. After today, I feel they are there to

protect Dr. Mumpower from me forcefully raping him

with my eyes.

SOLUTION: I cannot trust myself to have

anything to do with Dr. Mumpower anymore, and that

means I cannot attend city council meetings until I

outgrow my ovarian spasms.

In conclusion, I am guilty of vast community

disservice. When Dr. Mumpower spurned my sexual

advances, I retaliated by writing nasty articles

defaming him and spinning malicious lies and

inaccuracies about his good programs. As a result, I

have caused more pain in this community than all the

drug dealers, lazy police officers, and corrupt city

officials put together.

 

Um, ok. Wow. Watch yer back, Mumpower.