Debating debates

Friday saw quite a finale to a big news week. The case of John “Woody” Woodring, the fugitive accused of killing his wife, came to a close with the discovery of his dead body.

Meantime, the week for political gunslingers U.S. Rep. Charles Taylor and challenger Heath Shuler came to a similar anti-climatic end. Let’s take a look…

Debate debacle
WLOSers had full “team coverage” of a scheduled debate Friday between Taylor and Shuler that never happened. Three WLOSers – yes, three – sucked up a full 10 minutes at the top of main newscast at 6 p.m. Ten minutes is like 10 hours in television news time, folks. For a story where, we stress, nothing happened.

Taylor and Shuler were supposed to be in the West Ashvegas studios of WWNC Radio Ranch to debate back and forth on Matt Mittan’s conservative talk radio program. Shuler showed. But Taylor told Mittan he couldn’t make it, and made arrangements to link up by telephone at WHKP, a radio station down in Hendersonville.

Taylor and Shuler each gave opening remarks, said Cherub Charu, who was at the WWNC studio with Shuler. And Mittan duly noted that Taylor had broken the rules of the debate by not showing. Suddenly, Shuler and his handler stood up and walked out.

Shuler was clearly exhausted from a grueling campaign. He said “you’ve got to play by the rules” and told Charu that “We need to do this face to face. (Taylor) needs to look at me when he’s lying about me.” Shuler laid into Taylor.

Down in Hooterville, Russ “Beefcake” Bowen talked to Taylor, who maintained that the debate had originally been set for 5 p.m., then moved to 3 p.m., and when that happened he said he couldn’t be in the studio and made the phone arrangements. After the failed WWNC debate, Taylor stayed on the air at WHKP and answered callers questions for the rest of the hour. Taylor called Shuler a chicken and one of the least-prepared candidates to ever run for congress in the mountains. Taylor said what difference does face-to-face make when you’re on the frackin’ radio.

WLOSers then went live to Mittan, standing with a microphone in one hand and a finger to his earpiece and egg all over his puffy mcmoon face. Mittan said he was speechless. Mittan said Shuler was “concerned” about Taylor having handlers in his studio to help him answer questions. Mittan said he didn’t receive communication from Taylor until 12:30 p.m. Friday that he wouldn’t make it to Ashvegas. Mittan said his phone lines lit up with callers expressing various opinions.

Larry “Gloryhole” Blunt tried to get a dig in by asking Mittan: “Let’s be blunt – are these guys just scared” of debating one another?

Mittan shot it down. No. Each man was in the WWNC studio early in the week for individual shows where they answered a ton of questions.

John “Punnyman” Le got in on the action as part of the WLOS package of non-stories. Le got out his Marks-A-Lots and worked hard on some posters, then went down on Patton Avenue and tried to get people to tell him if they liked Taylor or Shuler better. Nobody really said anything.

The set-up for the story appeared to be that Le would ride in cars with people listening to the debate on the radio. Only the debate never happened. We wish this Le piece never happened, because it was an utter waste of time.

Here’s the bottom line on the debate from Ashvegas

Shuler let exhaustion and frustration get the better of him. Like the spoiled brat athlete that he is, he picked up his ball and pads and stomped off the field. He did himself no favors. What was Shuler trying to prove? He came out looking weak after pouring his every fiber into this race, and it shows he’s still not sure he’ll win on Tuesday.

Taylor ruined a perfect opportunity for himself. Running like a scared, bone-clattering skeleton from the flesh-eating virus of his own sordid past, Taylor takes an evil sort of joy out of sticking bamboo sticks like this under his opponent’s fingernails. Taylor did himself zero favors at a time when he’s desperate for every single vote he can get.

Stayed tuned for more on this big race, folks. The famous Ashvegas political predictions will coming up soon.