13 minutes of nonstop news?

We don’t know, but here’s the wrap-up for Tuesday:

Bridge out over troubled waters
All that high water yesterday wiped out a private bridge over Reedy Patch Creek in Bat Cave, stranding 20 families. This was the lead story that Cherub Charu brought us at six.

Once again, we swear we spotted someone wearing spandex shorts. As we mentioned yesterday, why is it that people who are flood victims are always on camera wearing spandex shorts?

Anyway, you’d think these people would have learned by now. This same bridge washed out three times before, the residents say. But this time, dammit, they’re going to fix it right.

Mikulik’s meltdown
Asheville Tourists’ manager Joe Mikulik, the guy who had the incredible base-tossing, bat-throwing meltdown at a Sunday ballgame in Lexington, Ky., had his tirade go international Tuesday. The video is popular in Australia, and the Candadian version of Inside Edition wanted a piece of the action, too.

Perv sentenced
Michelle Boudin, who makes a living off the perv and sexual predator beat, brought us the story of a guy sentenced to 10 years in prison for taking sexual explicit photos of a 5-year-old neighbor.

The 46-year-old, who still lived with his mother, asked the child to pose in a sexually explicit manner, and even re-arranged her clothing to get a more explicit shot, according to Boudin’s story. He also took photos of children at the Mountain State Fair and at Lake Powhatan, said the prosecutor, explaining that he usually caught them from behind and zeroed in on the private parts.

This all came to light when developers at Walgreens thought something was off with the photos, and took them to police. When confronted, the man admitted using the photos for his sexual gratification, according to Boudin and the prosecutor she interviewed.

Teacher drowns
Judy Davidson, a former Woodfin Elementary School teacher, drowned Sunday when she was swept away in a riptide at Sullivan’s Island. Davidson retired three years ago and moved to the beach. Her funeral is Friday at Anders Rice Funeral Home.

In other news…
No charges will be filed in that Henderson County shooting, where a dude got blasted in the chest. Police said it was an ongoing domestic dispute, and the dude who got shot was married to the ex-wife of the shooter… Police say they know who set the fire at T.C. Roberson High School last week. They’ll charge the 16-year-old as a juvenile later in the week. The fire did $3,000 in damage… Students are still trying to save a 180-year-old Southern red oak tree on the campus of Haywood Community College. It could be ripped up because it’s on the same spot where they want to build a new building or something.