WLOS: Friday night dailies

You know it’s sweeps when…

“Punnyman” John Le interviews the mammy at the Thomas Wolfe house “living history weekend.” Swear to God, she promised to cook up some taters and a pie and “a ham if you gonna stay awhile,” all in her best mammy voice.

Le played right along, cracking some dumber-than-dumb joke. I half expected him to respond: “Ahhhh, so. You cookie some flied lice, too?”

It was a different time when Hattie McDaniel had to play a stereotypical mammy to make some money. But it’s shameful for the sistah to be muggin’ as a mammy at the Wolfe House, a state historic site. Have some self-respect, woman! And for Le to play into it, and televise it, is even worse. What year is it, again??

Seltzer interviews “Desperate Housewives” star:

Seltzer did a pretty good job of handling a promotional interview with James Denton, the hunky plumber who usually plays opposite Terry Hatcher on ABC’s hit soap. Turns out Denton is quite familiar with Ashvegas.

Denton went to the Univeristy of Tennessee in Knoxville and worked at a CBS affiliate in Raleigh as a salesman before getting into his acting career. He said he’s traveled around the mountains quite a bit, and gave a shout-out to Tar Heel basketball fans.

It also looks like Denton actually started his career out as “Jamie Denton.” And there’s a German romance series of movies that it looks like Denton played in. I’m still trying to find some confirmation on that. Looked like the stuff verged on softcore, but wouldn’t we have heard it about by now?

Here’s Bulldog, on what’s in a name:

OK, now you’ve got the Big Dog barking.

It’s one thing to disparage Scott (“How many Google hits on my name today?”) Wickersham, or Candace (“Miss Georgia Via Clemson”) Little, or even Darcel (“Can’t Speak Without Her Hands”) Grimes. But when you make light of Mike Cuevas-Simon, you’ve gone too far.

Obviously, you are not aware that being Chief Meteorologist for a TELEVISION STATION is serious business. Not everyone can grow perfect hair, match a suit and tie, and point out Oklahoma on a blank wall – all while zooming in on Neighborhood Doppler and checking barometric pressure with Vita Nations in Cherokee.

That’s nothing to take lightly, my friend. That’s an artist working an electronic canvas with dozens – sometimes hundreds, according to the latest ratings – of eager viewers. So please excuse the Artist Known as Cabana Boy from your derisive comments. That level of fame has its privileges, including changing your name to better define your aura.

After all, Marion Michael Morrison became John Wayne. Leonard Slye preferred Roy Rogers. Ruby Stevens thought Barbara Stanwyck sounded better. Issur Danielovitch felt Kirk Douglas had a certain savoir faire. Robert Zimmerman performs as Bob Dylan, for chrissakes. So get off Mike Cuevas-Simon’s back.

Besides, I have it on good authority that when Stan Pamfilis was exiled to Georgia for a few years he was known there as Roy Bob Buchanan.

– Bulldog