WLOS: Last week’s leftovers

Baby Jesus stolen
Last week, WLOSers hit us with a classic Christmas report out of Rutherford County. Seems someone stole the Baby Jesus out of a nativity set at an Ellenboro church. Mary Judliquor was all over it. This was the lead story at 6 on Friday.

Her cameraman got close-up vid of the bruised and battered Three Wise Men. She interviewed a church spokesman, who said he thought it was ironic that the thieves “took with them the very symbol of what they needed most” in their lives. And she talked to some little old ladies at the local diner who were righteously shocked.

Hey WLOS, I think the stats show that a real baby is kidnapped in this country like every five minutes or something. How ’bout telling us that story.

Dome dud
The nightly Sheraldo shout report came from Hooterville on Friday, where town officials were planning to light the courthouse dome. The historic courthouse, with renovations to begin soon, stands as a community gathering spot. So WLOSers were all set to bring us the lighting, LIVE.

Only the lighting didn’t go as planned. As Larry “Old Glory” Blunt rambled on about the courthouse, picking up after Sheraldo, he kept waiting for the dome lights. He even urged them on with a “C’mon” or something. But no lights.

Oh well.

Sonogram silliness
Cherub Charu picked up on pop culture madness with a report on the popularity of “fetal photos,” as she termed it, but she totally missed the story.

The only reason we care – or that Charu did the story – was because Tom Cruise recently told Barbara Walters that he had purchased an Ultrasound machine and had learned how to use it, all so he could watch the womb of dear Katie and keep an eye on his baby’s development.

Charu’s report never mentioned the Cruise craziness. But she did get some good quotes from the opposing sides. She got the dour doctor, who told us exactly what we’d expect – there’s no medical evidence to show that soundwaves can hurt a fetus, but dammit, Tom Cruise is not a doctor and these machines are not toys.

Then Charu talked to one of those fly-by-night “4D” sonogram places that do the Glamour Shot photos and videos of your redneck baby for 50 bucks. And the woman described the sonogram as a “fancy camera” – that’s a direct quote – that poses no health risks and is really kinda fun.

Personally, I’m with her. I love cameras. Especially fancy cameras. And if it requires the use of some extra gooey gel that I get to smear all over somebody, preferrably of the opposite sex, then I’m all for it. I totally pitched this story to Edgy Mama in an effort to set off her Righteous Indignation Alarm, but she hasn’t picked up on it. So take it from me – if you’ve got an extra $20,000, go out and buy yourself one of these puppies and put it to good use.

Spotted
Julie Blunder and her newly minted hubby, at Tupelo Honey Friday night. Just hanging out, gnoshing.

Ratings race
A friend was telling me the latest sweeps overnight ratings book is out and that WLOS got whupped overall. I think WSPA and WYFF pretty much tied, with WLOS pulling up third. Also, Fox Carolina apparently did surprisingly well. The final sweeps numbers come out at the end of the month and that’s where we’ll see how everybody did.