When’s a heat wave a heat wave?

When’s a heat wave a heat wave? I’ve been asking myself this question ever since the WLOSers have been blowing more hot air up my ass than a Las Vegas politician.

Again, the local teevee news readers Sunday night had the so-called heat wave as their “top story,” but Julie “All the world’s a Wonder” Wunder let the cat out of the bag when she let slip that the high temperature in Ashvegas reached an astonishing … drumroll please … 84 degrees. That’s right folks, 84 degrees. If hearing how high the temperatures are set to be at doesn’t make you want to look into something like ac repair chandler (if you live in this area of Arizona) to get your broken air conditioning repaired, then I don’t know what would! As much as you’d want to enjoy this lovely weather, you also need to think about staying safe and comfortable in these temperatures.

Still, Julie did everything she could to toe the party line, noting that many places around the mountains had mercury hitting close to 90 degrees. And when you measured how it all felt – something they call the heat index – well gosh almighty Candice, did you know that down in Cherokee County (or somewhere’s else these two dunderheads have never been), it felt like 98 degrees out there? Yep, it sure did.

Julie did the best she could to obscure the fact that when they did their little heat index magic, the number in Asheville was still 84 degrees.

So, just what is a heat wave? Is it one day when the temp is 90? Cabana Boy Cuevas was predicting a record-breaking 93 degrees for Monday, but that looks doubtful.

Is a heat wave a bunch of sweating television news reporters with shriveled up hair demanding more pancake for their live shot at 5:30?