I was having lunch the other day when a friend — I’ll call her T — informed me of a disturbing experience she had on her drive in to work the other day. She was riding along when she noticed something dangling from the trailer hitch of the truck in front of her.
A closer inspection revealed an oversized rendition of testicles, hanging in plain view. O, and they were blue. Yes, blue balls. T, restraining herself from pulling up beside the truck and letting fly with a few choice words, got to work, but the image remained: a big ol’ pair staring her right in the face on her morning commute.
What bothered T the most was that she has a little girl, and she doesn’t want to have to be explaining a giant nutsack hanging off a truck to a 4-year-old.
I’d never heard of the “trailer testicles,” or the “truck nutz,” or whatever you call them. But it turns out that they’ve caused quite a ruckus up in Virginia and D.C., where state and local lawmakers have moved to have them banned. If you want to know more, the Web site Your Nutz can totally hook you up.
So I want to know, Asheville – what do you think? Are anatomically correct balls hanging off a truck just redneck chic, or an obscenity that must be banned? Do you have a big ol’ pair? Should lawmakers emasculate the sacks, or just let ’em ride?
What do you think?
26 Comments
I got a set over at http://yournuts.com, I got the monster nuts and now pics of my rig are on the net.. someone took a pic and posted it. yournuts is the BEST
Just stay away from any site run by John Saller or John R Beaman , the first is a convicted felon and the other is under a restraining order for harrasment. They stole personal info and had their credit account closed. Always search the criminal history of businesses so you dont get ripped off. One site they use is bullsballs.com I wouldnt even go there because of the fraudulent privacy policy
Forget protecting kids from the sight of it…I don’t want to see it! so i guess that labels me a "puritan" Next it could potentially be an anus or a big open replica of the female genitala as a car ornament. It seems we live in an everything goes society and even discussing the topic is a bore.
Should government get involved? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!
Are truck nuts stupid and idiotic? ABSOLUTELY!
Even though government should not interfere, this is the level to which manhood has sunk to. Some pencil dick insecure POS has to put these stupid things on dreaming of something he will never have… pathetic!
John Wayne would not have approved…
Heh, I find this amusing as I’ve been watching nutz swing from trucks for at least 5 years here in Nebraska. I can’t believe it took this long for this white-trash must-have to spread. Of course, around these parts nutz are a big thing, usually if a stray pair are found hanging someone will bread them and fry them up then pawn them off as "oysters". Ick.
Tacky, tasteless- but who cares? I understand your friend’s outrage- I felt the same way when my youngest daughter’s friend was dropped off at our house for a play date. A bumpersticker on the soccer mom mini van said, "If you are going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair". When I gasped, my daughter asked what it meant, and I just told her I wouldn’t choose to put it on our car, because it really wasn’t appropriate. But legislation can’t fix stupid or tasteless, so let their balls hang in the wind.
I am all for truck nutz. It is human nature, and indeed a human gift, to anthropomorphize our possessions, and out environment. Modern man has lost the connection to the ancient world, the connection that virtually all ancient cultures, the connection that had the Roman put penises on virtually everything they could find. We are poorer for this loss. We need to reclaim our ancient right and rite to turn everything into a tallywacker and hoo-ha (that I can’t right the words I mean to right, with the emotional force they deserve, in a public forum is a prime example of what is wrong with society.)
Besides, we live with the Vance frickin’ monument. Compared to that, Truck Nutz are small potatoes.
"Much ado about nothing."
the larger the balls on the truck, the less IQ in the truck. seems pretty stupid to me.
The Calvin urinating stickers where he is peeing on a Ford symbol or a Chevy symbol or <insert whatever you don’t like here> is only slightly better than truck balls. As a previous poster suggested for truck balls, I think either one is a pretty good way to tell the intelligence level of the vehicle’s owner.
While I think both are in very bad taste (no pun intended), our lawmakers should spend their time and effort on more important things.
Yawn.
There is absolutely no accounting for bad taste.
Dude, it’s some balls hanging off a truck. Who’s being hurt?
Maybe this is a homosexual redneck indicator? All my redneck friends refer to their trucks as begin of the feminine gender. After all, she’s what they ride.
grimatongueworm: Good one.
They are tacky and stupid, but we have real issues to deal with; as with all fads they will come and go. I don’t see the point in adding to their notoriety by banning them.
It reminds me of the mother driving her son to elementary school. When a trash truck in front of her bounced a large rubber dildo off the woman’s windshield, she was horrified at what Little Johnny might think. So she told him it was just a fllying insect, to which he replied, "I can’t believe he got off the ground with a dick that big."
Anybody who would purchase and display such a thing is both stupid and likely has major psychological issues. Most likely such people have small penis syndrome or are closet cases.
There is absolutely no need to ban such items. Let the poor, ignorant souls identify themselves to all.
I can see it now – Truck Nutz debated at Asheville City Council Meeting.
Please somebody get that on the agenda. LOL.
Ash, just what is it that’s "anatomically correct?" Too big and too hairless. And oh so very pink. I’m gonna put a couple of golf balls in a Crown Royal bag and hang it somewhere. Speaking of nut-sacks, 30Rock:
"…as a child, I had a prize pig that I thought was my best friend. But then one day when I picked up one of her piglets, she went crazy! She bit off my nut-sack… that I kept tied around my belt to feed squirrels."
I thought these were like a rainbow bumper sticker for rednecks.
Hey, you know what they say?
The bigger the truck the smaller the penis……..
What’s next for these folks … requiring male dogs and bulls to wear a thong?
If this is the "biggest" thing these people have time to worry about then I suggest volunteering at a local charity to occupy their time.
I saw them in Georgia for the first time many months ago…it saddens me that they have infiltrated WNC. Maybe the owners should have them clipped by concerned citizens.
you wont find a set on my car, but "ban worthy"… really?
If not for kids having to see this sort of thing, I’d say let these people hang their balls on the back of their trucks. In my ideal world ignorant people would be required to wear signs labeling them as such. Truck testicles are the next best thing. If I see them, I know that’s a person I don’t care to associate with. My time has been saved by a plastic sack hanging from a trailer hitch.
truck nuts are stupid!
When truck-testicles are outlawed, only outlaws will have truck-testicles.
Is this issue REALLY worthy of city/county/state intervention?
In our Puritan dominated society, I can hear the piercing screech of the tender offended wailing against the assault on Family Values ™ as they hurry home to catch the latest episode of Desperate Housewives.