Tiger Woods is stuck in a bunker, and there’s no way out. His balls are in the tall weeds. He’s swinging, but it’s not with his nine iron.
By now, we all know the story of Tiger’s alleged infidelities. We also know that the Tiger Woods gold standard has provided the backing for Tiger’s first ever U.S. golf course being built right here in Buncombe County. The Swannanoa development, called The Cliffs at High Carolina, will be the county’s biggest development ever, as long as sales of the million-dollar mansions continue. It was just a few weeks ago that Tiger dropped into town for a meet-and-greet with potential buyers.
So here’s my call to all you public relations professionals out there in Western North Carolina: What’s your best advice for getting Tiger back on track? From a public relations and marketing point of view, what are the next best moves for Tiger as he tries to restore the shine to his reputation, keep those endorsement checks coming and still play golf like no other human ever? Should he skip the Masters in April? How should he celebrate his 34th birthday, which is coming up in a few weeks? Who should get the precious first interview? (Ashvegas should, but aside from that…)
The best advice wins a Freaks of Asheville calendar from me because there’s no doubt now that Tiger is one freaky-deaky dude.
7 Comments
From what I’ve read in the paper he is planning on changing him name as a sign of repentance. What they said was he was going to be either Cheetah Woods or Lion Woods! Hahahahahaaa!!! Get it!!! Cause he cheated and was lying??? See what I did there?!?! that’s funny : )
so yeah…I’d say to Tiger…go ahead and build some children’s hospitals and 100 Habitat Homes. Then, hit downtown Asheville, buy some prime real estate and build the greatest sports bar ever! Then pay for everyone to get into Disney World. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!! Everyone would forgive him.
"Leak" a sex tape.
He should let himself "accidentally" be photographed going to a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting.
He needs to play the sax on Leno.
Then check into rehab for Oxycontin Addiction.
Resurrect and hire Johnny Cockran to represent him.
Say he’s auditioning for a reality show.
Hike the Appalachian Trail.
Sign with Extenze.
He just needs to get back to why we all know his name. Shut up and play golf. End of story. No interviews other than what he would normally give at the end of rounds. Focus on the ball and play it well.
(I’ll take my calendar now. Thanks!)
Go on OPRAH and repent, maybe cry and then "sexual therapy" …..