My best friend’s wedding

Right around Christmas, I wished for more Andie MacDowell in my life. And so far this year, I’ve gotten it.

Today, I see that Andie plans to marry for the third time. The local newspaper has the story here. Andie is marrying a local used car salesman seven years her junior. He’s 40. She’s 47. Damn.

In the same story, Andie said she was at the hospital getting her ankle X-rayed after a bad sprain. She seemed to treat the news of her engagement and the pain of her sprain with about the same weight. Which has me a little worried about the future of this union.

Time will tell. Andie married a model guy first. Then she married an old high school sweetheart who grew up to be a rich businessman. Now she’s going for a Dook graduate who owns Auto Advantage in Fletcher.

All this, coming on the heels of Andie’s visit with Isaac Mizrahi, which I detailed here a couple of weeks ago. With Isaac, Andie said she was used to single life. And that she enjoyed riding horses bareback to feel sexy.

Andie, you’re still beautiful. Pushing 50, but beautiful. I wish you all the best. And when you finish with your new man, remember that I’ll still be here, waiting for your fresh Loreal face and long, lovely tresses.

But you’re going to have to change your ways. I’m Carolina, not Dook. I’m credit card debt, not financially set. I’m West Ashvegas, not Biltmore Forest.

What I’m saying is I’ll be there for you, Andie. Please invite me to the nuptials. I’ll sit in the back and smile, mist up a little. I’ll give you a supportive hug. And when you need me most, when Mr. Auto Advantage drops you like a bad axle, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces, just like always. And maybe then you’ll realize that what you’ve been looking for all your life was sitting there, right under your nose.