Can you believe this? Just when I thought downtown Ashvegas was on the brink of achieving true greatness – there’s free wireless acess beamed from atop the courthouse; dirt has been turned on a grand new downtown park – we find that some goth/pirates plan to open a “pirate bar” downtown.
When did Ashvegas become an amusement park, in the way that Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge are amusement parks? We love the eclectic madness of downtown denizens, but the new Joli Rouge just doesn’t sound like a good idea.
I know I’m not giving this place a fair shake, but I just don’t think it’s gonna work. It doesn’t fit. I don’t know why a brew pub or real restaurant couldn’t survive on that corner, which used to be home to Max’s Celebrity Deli.
The local newspaper has the story here. The bar owner does what he can to ward off true merrymakers:
“It’s a pirate bar, but it’s more an attitude kind of thing; it’s not a theme park for adults,” Levinsohn said.
Some translation is needed. Here’s what he’s really saying: Look, you scurvy, shithole Florida tourist. Enough with the ‘argh.’ I know I sold out with the pirate theme shit, but I needed some investors. So shut the f–k up.
So, I can roll with that. But can the tourists?
One customer walked in and announced his arrival with a pirate yell, “aarragh to the barrgh,” which made for an echo of laughter and fellow greetings of aarragh. You almost wish they would break out in pirate tunes and that everyone would splash big glasses of beer around. But the bar doesn’t want to go that far with its theme.
The barista works hard to reassure doubters like me. Check out this quote:
“I would love to see businessmen who are getting off work mingling with punks who are getting ready to go to work. I’d like to see a wide range of people,” Levinsohn said.”
Again, we need to read between the lines: We’ll take anybody whose got some cash. I’ve got a f–king mortgage to pay.
Look, if there’s anyplace that can happen, it’s here in Ashvegas. But I don’t see it.
So yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum – save your dubloons and support another downtown watering hole. In our insta-review, without ever stepping foot in the place, we give this one the skull and crossbones.
1 Comment
Ash, I had a similar reaction upon reading this article. And, uh, why was it the front page, headline story in the Living section? There are lots of excellent new bars and restaurants that have not received this placement or amount of coverage from the ACT.
You neglected to mention that the owners refer to the Joli as a “private club.” While I might have checked the place out, just for the hell of it, if I have to sign a piece of paper and pay a membership fee, however nominal? I don’t think so.
Please, god, do not let Ashvegas turn into Pigeon Forge.