Since the first post was so popular, here are a couple more reviews from Stu Helm, Asheville’s Facebook Food Critic:
Tod’s Tasties – Montford, Asheville
I’m not an expert on feng shui. I don’t even necessarily give a shit about it, but I know an asinine set-up when I see one, and Tod’s has the most asinine set-up in Asheville.
You walk in the front door… directly into the line of people waiting to order, there is nowhere to stand while you wait for your order, and the cream and sugar bar, bus-buckets, and bathroom door are all jammed-up into the same tiny space that everyone is waiting to order, or waiting for their order in. Holy fuck. Even that last sentence was crowded, confused, and disorienting.
There is another door, but as far as I can tell, they keep it locked at all times, and there is another room, but the one-and-only time I ate back there, it was an almost unbearable hot-box where flying insects of all kinds had come by the hundreds to pester, then die. Your best bet is the outdoor seating, but even there, make sure you grab some shade, because the sun is, like, 20 degrees hotter and 50 lumens brighter on the patio at Tod’s than anywhere else in the world. Of course, I hate the sun, so that’s probably just me.
The staff are friendly, professional, and attractive… well, the friendliness is a crap-shoot, to be honest. They seem a little moody at Tod’s. Must be the feng shui.
The food and coffee at Tod’s are both really good, and worth all of the above if I’m in the right frame of mind. I have mostly been there for breakfast-type foods, and have enjoyed the scones, biscuit sandwiches, and croissants in the past. The coffee is rich, full-bodied, hot, fresh and delicious: 4 stars.
Tod’s is on my list of places that I go, and when the weather is good, the staff are upbeat, and all the stars and planets in the fucking Universe are perfectly aligned, I love it!
DOUGH – Merrimon Ave., Asheville
I keep trying to like Dough. I’ve been there, like, 5 or 6 times, and tried everything from the bacon maple donut to their pepperoni pizza, but it’s just not happening for me… yet…
The donut was big, had maple icing, and chopped up bits of bacon on it. The flavor was okay, but I’m just gonna say it: this donut was hard to eat. It was bigger than I could open my mouth, so I had to attack it like a rat, which meant I got icing on my nose. Plus all the bacon fell off, so I had to gnaw off a bite of donut and then put a piece of bacon in my mouth if I wanted to enjoy them both at the same time. It wasn’t even all that great of a donut, and beleive me, I’ve eaten a lot of fuckin’ donuts. I expected more from a place with the word “Do” right in their name.
The pizza wanted to artisan-style, and pretty much was, but it just wasn’t awesome. It was good… enough… but again, fell short of my expectations, which were largely based on the pricetag, which was large, and the fact that the place is called Dough… and pizza has dough.
Then there was the Angry Mustard Incident. Yep. There was an incident. Basically, I ordered a sandwich, they made me the wrong sandwich, and when I pointed that out, I got the distinct impression that they didn’t believe me, and then the sandwhcih I got back had, like, 2 1/2 tablespoons of yellow mustard on it. As I scraped off the mustard into a sizable blob on my plate, I said to my friend, “That’s angry mustard. That’s ”fuck you’ mustard.”
I’ll keep trying Dough… I want to like it so bad! I mean, c’mon! I love things that are made out of dough! Do it for me, Dough! Do it!!!
I just hope they don’t see this review, or the pile of mustard I’m gonna get…
Stu Helm is an artist and writer living in Asheville, NC, and a frequent diner at local restaurants, cafes, food trucks, and the like. His tastes run from hot dogs and mac ‘n’ cheese, to haute cuisine, and his opinions are based on a lifetime of eating out. He began writing restaurant reviews strictly to amuse his friends on Facebook in 2013.