Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Mountainado for a moron
“Chris” called me a moron this afternoon, then pointed me to the government’s official weather web site to prove that there is such a thing as a “mountainado.” This came after I called Cuevas on the carpet for just making it up.
Mountainado
A vertical-axis eddy produced in a downslope windstorm by the vertical stretching of horizontal roll vortices produced near the ground by vertical wind shear. Mountainadoes, when carried by the mean wind, can produce strong horizontal shears and wind gusts that are much more damaging than the general prevailing wind speeds.
You weather geeks can have your “vertical stretching of horizontal roll vortices.” Still sounds like bullshit – name the last time there’s been a confirmed tornado in the mountains.
It’s hard to know when the local TV station weather soothsayers are telling the truth because they lie to us with almost every forecast.
Dunkle back to form
Thank goodness for Victoria Dunklehead and Jay Seltzer. While Candice and John “Punnyman” Le did an OK job of holding it down over the weekend, I was glad to see some new infotainment talent.
I was tired of listening to Candice tell me repeatedly to “move over” and be careful on the roads. They must have shown that one state trooper four or five times since Friday – the same interview, sliced all different ways.
Dunkle sure was tripping over her words today. Sheesh. Seltzer, meanwhile, had a grand time doing the weather, as he always does. The two sort of got a little deep talking about the missing girl in Aruba.
Seltzer sounded like a freakin’ Harvard law professor, and Victoria just told us what we already know – their judicial system is different from ours.
hey bulldog… are you just a moron or trying to be funny or what? I asssume both. F-zero tornadoes do exist. This blog is riddled with idiots…
Regarding Mountainadoes – According to the American Meteorological Society glossary of terms (the one I would assume that “meteorologists” would use) Orographic Vortexes (whirlwinds formed by air flowing over a mountain) are “sometimes called mountainadoes”, but they are NOT tornadoes. According to the AMS, mountainado is apparently not a recognized meterological term with a defininition. Interestingly enough, they do have a defination for a “gustnado” – a colloquial expression for a weak tornado in a gust front (i.e.- a whirlwind or dust devil).
Apparently you take anything that spins and put “nado” after it (so much for creative writing). Which means we could also have:
Hairnadoes – a vortex caused by a reporter whipping her hair hair out of her face prior to a live shot.
Sheraldonadoes – a vortex caused by the fast moving volume of air require for Sheraldo to give his live shots the necessary emphasis.
Nielsonadoes – the vortex originating in the news directors office due to rapidly falling ratings.
Gesticulationadoes – twin vortexex cause by reporters moving their hands rapidly back and forth during standups.
Ganga-nadoes – the vortex caused by quickly inhaling a little weed… for medicinal purposes of course.
Bustnadoes – the vortex created when the police jerk the smoker back to jail for probation violations.
Blognadoes – the vortex created when a website launches all of the above onto the internet.
Keep em spinning Ash!
-Refugee
lol. You’re killing me, Bulldog.
A “Fo” tornado? Here’s a microburst: You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. I suppose then that a “Ho” tornado is worse because it sucks up everything in sight.
I beg to differ on the comment regarding a confirmed tornado in Asheville. In fact, there was a confirmed tornado in the later 90s, I believe, that hit over towards Merrimon and the Grove Park Inn area. It did minimal damage and was more than likely an F0 tornado. At first, it was thought to be a microburst, however, I do believe it was later confirmed as a tornado! Get your facts before you make wrong comments. Looks like you did the same with “Mountainado”!