Asheville News

Back in the saddle: the pope, punking out and pulling a tube

Ok, ok. I know I’ve been gone a week or so. So sue me. They pulled the tube on Terry. The pope petered out. And Rudolph got rooked into pleading guilty. I’ve been busy. But I’m back. So here goes. The Schiavo situation was a travesty.  The government got involved, she was starved to death and died a tabloid death.[Read More…]

by April 9, 2005 1 comment Asheville News

Panties and poker

Our local TV news had a story tonight about Maggie Valley’s porn star opening up a panty shop in town, and the “outrage” it was creating. The outrage was supplied by one overweight redneck who said “We don’t need that kind of stuff here in Maggie Valley. That’s not what we’re about.” The porn star’s name, by the way, is[Read More…]

by March 29, 2005 9 comments Asheville News

Fairview man arrested for Schiavo bounty plot

There’s big breaking news in Ashvegas – police have arrested a Fairview man for placing a $250,000 bounty on the head of Michael Schiavo and a $50,000 bounty on the head of one of the judges who ruled in the case. The Citizen-Times has the story here. From the press release, it sounds like the threat was made in an[Read More…]

by March 26, 2005 2 comments Asheville News

This guy wannabe sheriff

Responding to my earlier post speculating about who might be the next the High Sheriff of Buncombe County (click Ashvegas politics link at bottom to read it), apparently this guy wants to be sheriff. J.B. Howard is a Dem, former Highway Patrolman and a private investigator. For a quick recap: it’s an open secret that the High Sheriff’s health is[Read More…]

by March 25, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
From Aspen to Ashvegas

From Aspen to Ashvegas

God bless Hunter S. Thompson. This sounds an awful like lot like some of the Ashvegas hippie literati. Every place you see the word “Aspen,” think Ashvegas: TENTATIVE PLATFORM Thompson for Sheriff Aspen, Colorado, 1970 1) Sod the streets at once. Rip up all the streets with jack hammers and use the junk asphalt (after melting) to create a huge[Read More…]

by March 22, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Johnny and Jesus in the clouds

Johnny and Jesus in the clouds

The Beer Guy told this story the other night at the Westville: Well, I’ve seen Johnny Cash in concert. Let me tell you my Johnny Cash story. Johnny was playing a concert in Bristol, Tennessee. I think it was1978 or ’79 or something like that. They’d set this concert up as a fundraiser for a country music museum they wanted[Read More…]

by March 22, 2005 2 comments Asheville News

Far from normal

As you can see from below, I am only barely half normal. Which I think is good. Clink on the link to see how normal you are. You Are 55% Normal (Somewhat Normal) While some of your behavior is quite normal… Other things you do are downright strange You’ve got a little of your freak going on But you mostly[Read More…]

by March 22, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
Sophia’s joy

Sophia’s joy

I love Sophia’s joy. You see it here, in the pure unmitigated happiness of flight, or at least the closest thing to flight a child can find. You hear it in her giggles at playing the PlayStation video game. She has no clue what she’s doing, but she’s having a blast. That was then. This is later. She’s growing up.[Read More…]

by March 21, 2005 4 comments Asheville News
The story of the 1-3 crew

The story of the 1-3 crew

They sound familiar. The coppery tones of the Go-Gos. The chirpy rap of Blondie. Funky strains of the B-52s. It’s all there, mixed up in 13 Stories, an Atlanta Band I saw play Saturday night at the Westville Pub in West Ashvegas. It’s the first time they’ve played in Ashvegas. (btw, the Westville Pub celebrates its third birthday next month,[Read More…]

by March 20, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Eastabunny

Eastabunny

Each year about this time, the Eastabunny comes out to play. It started a couple of years ago as just a fleeting glimpse, illuminated by bright headlights. There’s a startled rush, and he’s off. Then he started surprising me, jumping up out of the garden to rip off on a midday scamper. Lately, it’s been a standoff. I see him,[Read More…]

by March 20, 2005 0 comments Asheville News

Baretta

I can’t believe Baretta is walking a free man tonight. Does anyone really believe that he DIDN’t do it? Dominic Dunn had it right, though – Bonnie Lee is the only victim in recently memory that absolutley nobody cared about. Compare that to the way the Scott Peterson trial has been covered. The constant Laci photo, shown over and over,[Read More…]

by March 17, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
The day the earth stood still

The day the earth stood still

Predicting the weather in the mountains is much like what I imagine being a political pundit is like – you just say whatever you want and hope it’s true. Take today’s weather gurus. The Citizen-Times trumpets, using a wire report from the weather service, that a hard snow is going to fall. Great, just what we need. All this takes[Read More…]

by March 15, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
Carolina chemistry

Carolina chemistry

It’s that time of year again. Time for the madness of the march to the Final Four – the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. The pairings are out. The brackets are filled in. Now it’s time to dance. Several of the so-called experts are picking Carolina to go all the way, to cut down the nets in St. Louis. I love[Read More…]

by March 14, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Dook takes care of its own

Dook takes care of its own

There’s nothing I like better than watching a rat gnawing its own leg off to try to get out of the trap it stupidly set up in the first place. The Rat Take the latest flap over the humor column in Dook University’s college paper. The “Monday, Monday” column was yanked recently after somebody finally said enough is enough. That[Read More…]

by March 14, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Bele Chere the spirit

Bele Chere the spirit

Hot breaking music news in Ashvegas – the big Bele Chere lineup for ’05: Susan Tedeschi Derek Trucks Band Karl Denson Sam Bush Dirty Dozen Brass Band Drew Emmitt Dottie Peoples Drive-by Truckers Grease Factor Porter, Batiste and Stoltz Larry Keel Xavier Rudd Tinsley Ellis Bonerama The Codetalkers featuring Col. Bruce Hampton Corey Harris The Greyhounds Tishamingo Blueground Undergrass Lil’[Read More…]

by March 14, 2005 0 comments Asheville News

Muddy Waters

If you haven’t been keeping track of the water wars, you need to check out this story of the e-mail war of words between Ashvegas City Council and Buncombe County commissioners. I know most of these folks, at least as an aquaintance, so it’s kind of sad to see them calling each other “pea-brain” and threatening to take each other[Read More…]

by March 14, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Sunburst

Sunburst

DaisyI know the weather is going to be rainy and cold this week, but at least I’ll have the memory of today to get me through. What an awesome day! It was beautiful, and I was jonesin’ to get to work in the yard. Pretty pansy Me and Melissa went to Lowe’s after brunch at Tupelo Honey to start stocking.[Read More…]

by March 14, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Sign says

Sign says

My friend Tom has always wanted to put together a coffeetable book of those snappy church signs that are so clever they’re sure to save a few souls. I don’t know if Tom has collected any of said photos, so I’m starting. Here’s the first installment. If you see any good church signs, let me know. Tom, this one’s for[Read More…]

by March 8, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
The gambling life

The gambling life

When a new friend, who was visiting from another country, asked me, “Why Ashvegas?” I had to pause for a moment. In God’s countryIt’s hard to explain to people who aren’t familiar with Ashvegas, especially people from another country. It’s ironic, I started. Ashvegas is a small mountain town in the Bible Belt. It has big dreams, and it thinks[Read More…]

by March 8, 2005 0 comments Asheville News

Wanna be a sheriff?

It’s an open secret in Ashvegas that its top lawman is ailing and considering stepping down. As with any elected position, that means a lot of potential political intrigue. The High Sheriff has ruled with imperial power since he was elected way back in 1994. In North Carolina, the sheriff’s office has lingered with the register of deeds office and[Read More…]

by March 8, 2005 3 comments Asheville News
Rashad, we’re pulling for you and your mom

Rashad, we’re pulling for you and your mom

I’m still worried about what ails Rashad. Because it’s as much about what’s in his head as it is anything else.   In an earlier Tar Heel post (see link at bottom) I said that a player might need our extra thoughts and prayers. Now you know what I was getting at – the Citizen-Times reports today that Rashad’s mother has[Read More…]

by March 2, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Rudolph unmasked

Rudolph unmasked

Ghost of the NantahalaReady to crank up the Rudolph publicity machine? CNN is. The cable news company is already hawking a book about Rudolph by one of its producers, just in time for the scheduled start of the trial. If it weren’t for the King of Pop’s case being heard now, I might call Eric Robert Rudolph’s court proceedings the[Read More…]

by March 1, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Marching in

Marching in

Little GrinchGoodbye little February, short month of short days of short breath. Goodbye. You haven’t been so bad, although the Grinch did make an appearance in Ashvegas on your last day. sure sign of springAnd hello March. Hard March. Soft March. What will you bring us? Looks like snow, so far. But my daffodils are straining. The crocus are already[Read More…]

by March 1, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
Ass-kickin’ country

Ass-kickin’ country

If you like country music, Kenneth Brian is your guy. Country, like Hank and Dwight and the old rockabilly boys of the ’50s did it. Real country music. Not the crap you hear on the radio these days, although there are a few artists I enjoy. I was showing a couple of visitors around town Saturday night and we ended[Read More…]

by February 28, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
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