Articles by: Jason Sandford

Going to the movies

Try this new feature. It’s a brief Quicktime movie, titled “Scottie gets a job.” Does it work for you? Scottie and Darcel

by July 9, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
Giving a crap about the weather

Giving a crap about the weather

It really is all about the weather with you people. Check out what you’re saying over on the “What you said” page. Remember, you can post your comments at the bottom of each post, you can e-mail me by clicking the button at the left or you can send me snail mail at Ashvegas, PO Box 1656, Asheville, 28816.

by July 9, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
Law and disorder #2

Law and disorder #2

Culled from the files of the Ashvegas Police Dept. Uncle Sam-antha shocked The following “exposure” report was filed on July 3. The name of the victim and the location of the incident were blacked out on the police report. All you could see was that the victim was a white female. “Victim was standing in front of business dressed as[Read More…]

by July 8, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Reporting on reporters and Le finds a fact

Reporting on reporters and Le finds a fact

Scottie taunts us We know Scottie-too-Hottie was taunting us during the 5:30 when he did his little Riverdance impression. First it was Jar-Jar, now it’s Riverdance. Scottie is quite the cut-up! Anyway, we know he was daring us to use our screen capture technology to post it here. Unfortunately, the technology let us down in this case. We’ll catch you[Read More…]

by July 8, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Law and disorder

Law and disorder

We’re starting a new feature here at Ashvegas – Law and Disorder – where we’ll mine the piles of Ashvegas police reports for the weird, the wacky, the whatever. We’re not trying to poke fun at other people’s misery, but c’mon, some of this shit is just ca-ray-zee. Read on, my pretties: Leicester boys are hungry On July 2, the[Read More…]

by July 8, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
A sculpture walk to remember

A sculpture walk to remember

Dave over at the Avant Garden recently created the Bent Creek Sculpture Walk, a series of cool rock stacks that you’ll only see in Ashvegas. Now that Cindy has had her way with us, the stacks may be washed away. But you can still see it on the Avant Garden blog. I particularly like the stack above, dubbed “Meditations on[Read More…]

by July 8, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Le’s boogie nights

Le’s boogie nights

When we did the Kelly Monaco post below, we didn’t know John “Punnyman” Le was going to put the moves on, “hustle” out to the dance floor (his words, not mine) and do a little number Wednesday night at 11 on how ABC’s hit show “Dancing With the Stars” was encouraging local people to dance. This is the kind of[Read More…]

by July 7, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Who’s zoomin’ who?

Who’s zoomin’ who?

We think we know who the new WLOS anchor is gonna be. Can you guess? We’ll give you a hint. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ain’t they cute! Feel the love, y’all. Feel the love.

by July 7, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
What you said… about the weather

What you said… about the weather

It’s all about the weather. At least as far as what y’all are talking about. Check it out on the What you said page. Keep those posts and e-mails coming!

by July 7, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
We love Kelly Monaco

We love Kelly Monaco

Here’s why: Kelly just won “America’s Stupidest Dance Competition” or something like that. (Actually, it was “Dancing With the Stars,” and by stars, we mean J. Peterman or whatever his name is, Evander Holyfield and the Bachelorette.) We’d never heard of Kelly Monaco until we saw her, skimpily clad, skipping across a ballroom floor. Yes, the show sucked us in.[Read More…]

by July 7, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Ashvegas ready to be flooded again?

Ashvegas ready to be flooded again?

Last year we saw something not seen in 100 years – massive flooding caused by three successive storms. Now here we go again. Tropical Storm Cindy, if you can still call it that, is going to bring more torrential downpours our way. The flood warnings are already up. I wonder what the Biltmore Village shop owners are doing tonight –[Read More…]

by July 7, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Election watch 2005

Election watch 2005

As predicted awhile ago, Dwight Butner and Robin Cape have filed to run for Ashvegas City Council. Also, Councilman Carl Mumpower filed for re-election to council, although, as we understand it, nothing bars him for filing to run for mayor, if he chooses. It’s a rule council should adopt, by the way – require sitting council members to resign their[Read More…]

by July 6, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Where’s the outrage?

Where’s the outrage?

Where’s the outrage, people? I’ve seen a few little stories here and there, but Jessica Simpson’s car washing episode, a la Paris Hilton, has hardly stirred a squeal out of the morality police. We speak of Simpson’s latest video, a horrible remake of “These Boots Were Made for Walking.” It’s all part of the “Dukes of Hazard” publicity machine. The[Read More…]

by July 6, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
Tuesday’s tidbits

Tuesday’s tidbits

Rainman We heard one of the anchors say Tuesday that they should start calling Mike Cuevas “Rainman,” joking about all the rain we’ve been having. But they don’t know how right they are. The more we thought about it, the more we realized that Cuevas is Rainman. What happened to the news? There were murders and missing paddlers and investigations[Read More…]

by July 6, 2005 5 comments Asheville News
Welcome to the Wickershams

Welcome to the Wickershams

Ashvegas spywitnesses caught this off-camera banter between Mr. And Mrs. Wickersham Monday as Candice did a July Fourth live shot from City-County Plaza and Scottie-too-Hottie held down the fort in South Ashvegas: Candice: Hey. Like, how’s my hair look? Scott: Hey. Good. How’s my hair look? Candice: Did you see, like, those fatties over there? They were like stuffing their[Read More…]

by July 6, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Beware the hairnado

Beware the hairnado

Here are all the elements for making a severe, F5 hairnado. A combustible mix, indeed. Country weather geeks in Leicester trailer parks can be especially susceptible to the ravages of a hairnado. Here, the horrible aftermath.

by July 6, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
On Blognadoes, Hairnadoes, Sheraldonadoes and more

On Blognadoes, Hairnadoes, Sheraldonadoes and more

Weather geeks, listen up. Ashvegas Refugee offers this: Regarding Mountainadoes – According to the American Meteorological Society glossary of terms (the one I would assume that “meteorologists” would use) Orographic Vortexes (whirlwinds formed by air flowing over a mountain) are “sometimes called mountainadoes”, but they are NOT tornadoes. According to the AMS, mountainado is apparently not a recognized meterological term[Read More…]

by July 6, 2005 2 comments Asheville News
Smokin’ posts

Smokin’ posts

Wow. I don’t know where y’all were all weekend, but you decided to get some things off your chest. Check out the “What you said page,” where there are all kinds of fresh “nanny-nanny, boo-boo” type comments. We sprout a Julie Wunder fan. Screwy Hoolie has a question about flag burning. Lightnin’ loves the Newsbreakers. Oh, and there’s much more[Read More…]

by July 5, 2005 3 comments Asheville News
GanjaGate update: all’s quiet on the reefer front

GanjaGate update: all’s quiet on the reefer front

Lest you think we’ve forgotten about GanjaGate, we haven’t. Buncombe County DA Ron Moore should have had a restful July Fourth, so maybe now he’s ready to decide whether to press charges against the local television news station for it’s role in the case of a local medical marijuana proponent. In case you don’t remember: Cherub Charu did a sweeps[Read More…]

by July 5, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Ashvegas movie history: ‘Conquest of Canaan’

Ashvegas movie history: ‘Conquest of Canaan’

As I was saying in an earlier post, Ashvegas’ movie history dates back to 1921, as far as I know, with the making of the black-and-white silent film “The Conquest of Canaan.” It was filmed in downtown Asheville. It starred Doris Kenyon and Thomas Meighan, people you’ve never heard of but who worked with such stars as Gloria Swanson, Mary[Read More…]

by July 5, 2005 0 comments Asheville News
Flagged

Flagged

The American flag – both fun and functional.

by July 4, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
‘Newsbreakers’ breakin’ some balls

‘Newsbreakers’ breakin’ some balls

If you think what I’m doing here is edgy (i sure don’t), check out what they’re doing over at NEWSBREAKERS. Thanks for the link, Lightnin’.

by July 4, 2005 3 comments Asheville News
More Independence Day fun with WLOS

More Independence Day fun with WLOS

Parade grand marshal The local television news station did a report on a local holiday parade, and we think we spotted Scottie-too-Hottie moonlighting again as parade grand marshal. Scottie sure looked cute! Trouble with the tape Mary Jugliquor was ready to go with a story at the top of the 5:30 about a big centennial celebration down at the Henderson[Read More…]

by July 4, 2005 1 comment Asheville News
More on mountainadoes, some relief in the form of Seltzer and more

More on mountainadoes, some relief in the form of Seltzer and more

Mountainado for a moron “Chris” called me a moron this afternoon, then pointed me to the government’s official weather web site to prove that there is such a thing as a “mountainado.” This came after I called Cuevas on the carpet for just making it up. Mountainado A vertical-axis eddy produced in a downslope windstorm by the vertical stretching of[Read More…]

by July 4, 2005 5 comments Asheville News