Dear Woman,

When I talk to a woman I like, she sometimes removes her glasses while we are talking. I am trying to figure out if it means anything. Is she making it easier for me to gaze deeply into her eyes (haha), or is she annoyed with the conversation? I understand that it could just be nothing, but I am getting nothing searching for it on the web. Thank you.

Sincerely,

The Over Analyser

Dear Over Analyzer,

Ah yes, the oldest trick in the seduction book. Since the dawn of time, women have used this fool-proof tactic to hypnotize potential mates. Let me ask you something: after she removes her glasses, does she tap the inside of her palm three times and then gently draw a figure eight with the heel of her boot in the dust between you? If so, she is definitely casting a love spell. Or a death spell. The two are almost identical.

I’m kidding, obviously. Truthfully, I have absolutely no definitive idea as I never completed my degree in body language analysis. It could literally mean nothing or it could be a nervous tic. She could be taking her glasses off because she thinks she looks better without them, and wants you to see her face, or she could be preparing to stab you with the arm of her Armani frames. I don’t know.

You know what I do know though? I know that this life we’re living is short as hell. The older we get, the more and more time seems to laugh at us as it slips through our fingers until one day we look in the mirror and do not recognize the gray-haired, wrinkly-faced warrior staring back at us.

My point? If you like this girl, just ask her out. Don’t spend hours hunched over your computer trying to find vague answers to vague questions. We’re all going to be dead eventually. I’m guessing when your time comes you will not pat yourself on the back for the chances you didn’t take, but rather look back with respect at the chances you did take. If she likes you, she’ll say yes, and if she doesn’t she’ll say no. If she says no then that gives you permission to move on and find someone who does like you.

If you two do end up together, you can ask her about the glasses thing eventually. Chances are she’ll have no idea what you’re talking about.

Sincerely,
A Woman

Ask A Woman is an anonymous advice column wherein this Asheville writer gives candid, honest advice about everything from consent to dating to harassment and whatever else you people cook up. I’m providing a platform of anonymity, not so either of us can hide behind invisibility, but to eliminate egos and insecurities and cut out the bullshit in an effort to perpetuate education. If you would like to ask me a question for my column, drop me a line here-Eve S. Dropper

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